Page 90 of Song of the Abyss

If someone had offered her a tool to get her hearing back after all these years, she wasn’t even sure that she would take it. There were risks to using any new tool. And she was fine the way she was. Sure, she had Bitsy to translate for her, but that wasn’t the same thing as something to “fix” what had made her… better.

Years and years of practice had turned her into a different person. Her lack of hearing was part of her, just as much as her eye color or what food she liked. She wouldn’t want someone to come in and save her.

But the way his eyes lit up as he slid his arm into the arm hole and how he held so still for Mira to affix a sling around his neck to hold the metal a little tighter against his skin? It made something in her chest squeeze really hard. Because that wasn’t the expression of a man who agreed with her. That was the expression of a man who was remembering what it felt like to be whole.

And suddenly, she was alone again. Years and years of practice at not feeling like she was the only person on the planet who had suffered, and now she watched someone else get fixed.

The feelings were so complicated, and she didn’t like them.

“This has to connect to your nerves,” Mira said, her head tilting to look underneath his arm. “I’d like to affix it more permanently for you, but this will have to do for now. Quick jab.”

Daios winced, and then he lifted the arm. The elbow bent at his will, and when he held the metal fingers up to the air, he could open and close them. The fingers clinked together, and they were definitely clumsy. He could only move all of them at the same time, but that was all. Maybe with practice, he’d get better.

He met her gaze, those eyes filled with hope, and she felt like an awful person for not wanting him to wear it.

Daios saw right through her, though. He always had from the very first day. “Mira?” he asked. “Can you give us some time alone?”

“Of course.”

They both stared at each other while Mira retreated to her workshop. And then they were alone. Two souls who were different from other people, and now one who was closer to normal than the other.

Why were her eyes watering?

Dashing away the tears, she smiled at him. “How does it feel?”

“You are upset.”

“No, I’m just... happy for you.” She scooted away from him, taking in the sight of him. “It looks good. With a little practice, I bet you’ll be able to use it like a normal arm.”

“Why are you upset?”

“I’m not.”

Daios sighed, his shoulders lifting and falling with the gust of breath she couldn’t hear. “Anya.”

“I’m really happy for you.” She smiled, but she could feel how watery the expression was. “Really.”

He reached for the strap over his shoulder, shaking his head. “This can’t work.”

“Daios, don’t take it off.” She lunged forward, her fingers catching onto his and stopping him. “It will be helpful. I have to go back to the city, anyway, and who knows what’s waiting for us there? You might need it.”

He stared into her eyes, frozen as they were locked together. “You’re going back?”

“I’m going to be the one to blow up the city.”

His lips parted, and for a moment she thought he was going to tell her no. He would argue that it wasn’t safe. She would tell him that nothing they did was safe. They would go to bed angry at each other and maybe ruin all of this before it had a chance to really start.

Instead, his warm hand came up to cup her jaw. “You are brave, kalon. Far more than you have any right to be.”

Relief, unlike anything she’d ever felt, flooded through her. With a sharp nod, she stopped looking into his eyes and instead locked her gaze on the arm. “I am glad for you. It’s a complicated feeling, that’s all. Seeing you like this... whole now...”

He moved so quickly she didn’t even see him twitch. The strap went up and over his head. He wrenched the arm off, and she could see there were tiny wires that had wriggled their way into his skin. He pulled those out without a single flinch. Blood dripped from the little holes that were left behind as he dropped the arm onto the floor.

“Whole?” he growled, wrapping his hand around her waist and tugging her against him. Water splashed up to her knees with the force of his movement as he dragged her against his chest. “My lack of arm has nothing to do with feeling whole. A metal device or not, I was never whole before you. You were the first person to look at me and see a man after my injury. Not a mistake, not a failure. You were the one to see me. My kalon, if you wished me to shed my skin, I would. If the arm makes you uncomfortable, then I will drop it into the deepest pits of the sea.”

“That’s not what I want,” she said with a watery laugh. “I don’t want you to not be whole again because of me.”

“I am only whole because of you.” He pressed his lips to hers, the long kiss tasting of salty tears and seawater. When he drew back, he pressed their foreheads together and took a deep breath with her. In and out. “Anya. It’s just an arm. A tool to be used, but never something that is part of me. I will use it to bring you to victory, but it does not change who I am.”

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