Page 102 of Whispers of the Deep

She couldn’t even breathe hard in her anger. She could only take what he was giving her. So all she could do was glare at him, tears pricking her eyes alongside the saltwater.

“You weren’t here,” she said, her voice choking a bit. “You handed me away when I was clearly dying and you didn’t even care. You stayed there, and then you didn’t come here. I thought...”

She didn’t know what she thought. She thought he would come back as her knight in shining armor to tell her that he loved her too, and that they would figure out a way to be with each other, but all of this had happened so fast. And then nothing happened. Nothing at all. She didn’t even get to see him.

“Mira,” he murmured.

She let him grab her around the waist and drag her through the water toward him. Maybe she was weak for it. But she wanted to feel him, even if it was a lie. His clawed hands curved around her skin, pulling her against hard muscles and a tail that coiled through her legs with a familiarity she wasn’t sure he deserved anymore.

“Don’t Mira me,” she said. Planting her hands against his stupidly firm chest, she gave a little shove. “Where have you been?”

“I told you, there were things I had to do. I had to make sure that the two of us were safe, and now I know for certain that we are.”

“Really? That’s all you have to say? You had to make sure we were safe.”

“I had to know for certain that everything was where it was supposed to be. My people and yours do not play nicely, and I had to tell some rather elaborate lies to make sure that I could even get out of those bindings to save you.” He dragged his face along hers, and she felt the fluttering gills at his neck toy with her skin. “My people were not happy that I saved you. Some of them wanted to kill you after I had worked so hard to save you. So I had to stay. I had to argue for your life. Our life.”

“I don’t understand a word you’re saying.”

“I’m sure you don’t.” He cupped her cheek, turning her face to his and pressing a kiss to her lips, lingering there for long moments. Almost as though he meant it. As though he really meant he’d missed her. “I did not want to return to you until I knew you were safe. Until I know we could love each other without anyone else interfering.”

Love.

He’d indirectly said he loved her, but that wasn’t the same. That wasn’t what she wanted to hear.

She wanted to hear that he was consumed by her. That every second he was away from her, it was like he’d torn out a piece of his heart and let it dangle in the currents. She wanted him to bleed because he wasn’t with her.

They were insane thoughts, but it was how she’d felt. Like a part of herself was missing. Like she wasn’t entirely a person until he came back to her.

He tugged her against him a little harder, scooping his hand around the back of her neck and forcing her to look at him. Really look into those black eyes that saw too much. “Did you question my affection while I was gone?”

“Every day.”

“Really?”

“Every second,” she said, her voice a little choked. “I could have died. I would have if Melete hadn’t breathed for me. Or if we didn’t have the medkit. That man tried to kill me and all you did was hand me off and then disappear for weeks.”

His claws dug into the back of her head. “I went back to kill him, Mira. I followed him through the entire city and then I chased him in his escape pod. He tried to flee so he wouldn’t have to pay the price of touching you. But then I ripped his ship apart, and I tore him in half. I left him for the sharks, so that they would all know what happens to anyone who lays a hand on you.”

Her heart skipped a beat. She didn’t think it was normal for her to be so turned on by that answer, but fuck, she wanted him.

He inhaled deeply, those gills fluttering against her stomach, where he was suddenly very obviously excited. “Fuck, woman. You shouldn’t react like that when I tell you I murdered someone for you.”

“How else am I supposed to react? I thought for weeks that you didn’t care about me anymore. You disappeared, and I thought I was some pet you put back in the carrier and was having people take care of you while you lived your life.”

“Never,” he hissed, his fingers flexing against her hip and the back of her head. “I couldn’t leave you if I tried, kairos. You are and always will be the soul of my soul, the heart that beats in my chest. I would do anything for you, Mira. Even lie to my own people, convince them that fighting against the achromos is foolish, and making someone else the leader of their warriors. I have given everything up for you.”

“You didn’t.”

“I will,” he said with a shrug. “If that is what you want. That is what I have set in motion, at the very least. At any point, I will make Maketes the person who leads the pod. You and I can disappear forever.”

It sounded nice. Just the two of them. But then she would never see more undines, or more people in the ocean that still made her feel like this world was worth saving.

They had been so helpful in his absence. Melete, Maketes, a few others whose names she hadn’t caught, but they were kind. Really, truly kind. They had brought her food and asked her questions. Some of them had even taken their own chips so they could actually converse with her. They were sweet, and she didn’t want to lose all that.

But most of all, she didn’t want him to give up everything for her. That wasn’t fair. Not when there was a chance they could make this work.

She shook her head. “I want to figure out a way for all of us to stay together. I want you to have your people and me, Arges.”

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