Page 66 of Gabriel's Salvation

“I know he does. And you deserve so much better. As your friend I should be telling you to forget about him and find yourself a nice guy who will treat you like a princess.” He throws his arm around my shoulder and continues. “But as his brother and the only one of us that knows how to use his heart and head at the same time, I gotta tell you that he does care.”

“Then why does he pretend I don't mean anything to him?” I snap, the wobble of my voice gives away how hard I'm working to keep the tears in.

How can he be so caring when we're alone, yet so callous when we're not?

“He tries in his own little way. I see how he's a little bit less of an asshole when you're around, and the way his face almost cracks a smile whenever he gets a message that I know is from you as he literally has no other friends. I also think that you know all of this, too, or else you wouldn’t have been hoping to see him tonight.”

“So then why can't HE say any of that himself?” I sigh.

“Because he’s a fucking asshole who struggles with letting his walls down enough to be real and genuine with just about anyone. He’s not gonna make this easy. But I promise that deep down there's a good guy buried in there. You just have to help him find him. He’s afraid of being hurt and being left behind.”

“And what if I'm not strong enough to battle until I reach that guy buried away?” I ask, tentatively.

“Then, I suggest you end whatever the hell you two have now. Because if he falls for you, I mean really falls for you, in the way that I think he is, and then you leave or abandon him, he’ll never recover from that. Ever!” I can tell from the sadness in Nate’s voice that he truly believes every word he just said to me.

Gabe

As soon as the words leave my mouth, I regret them. “And that is why you're gonna end up sad, alone, and riddled with STIs,” Riley snaps, and I immediately see the anger and hurt on her face. I see the way her walls shoot up and I will myself to stop before I say anything more that will hurt her. It's what I've done so many times before.

I watch her storm off, and part of me wants to chase after her. Apologize and tell her that's not really how I feel, not about her at least. Because for the first time in my life ending up sad and alone, without HER, is scarier than opening myself up.

“You're a real asshole, Gabe,” my brother barks at me, before, like the knight in shining armor that he is, he chases after my girl. My wildfire.

“What was that about?” Jack asks.

“Fuck knows,” I reply like the coward I truly am.

I continue drinking my drink pretending to listen to some god awful conversation as I watch Nate catch up with Riley. He throws his arm around her and she leans into him like he’s her protector. It should be me! She's my girl, not his. She should be running to me for salvation, not running from me.

I try not to let my jealousy rise, knowing Nate has zero interest in Riley. He's head over heels in love with his fucking perfect, princess of a girlfriend. But still, I can't help but feel envious of how easily this all comes to him. Why can’t I be more like him? Everyone loves him. Yet nobody ever loves me.

He's chatting away to Riley, making her smile, and doesn't seem at all concerned about the fact she repeatedly touches his arm.

I watch the two of them walk away together and go into the house, so I decide to follow.

Riley’s alone now, pouring herself another drink.

“Riley, wanna play doubles? I’m getting my ass kicked here,” some jock calls from the other side of the room.

“That's ‘cuz you suck,” Riley calls back as she makes her way over to his side.

I follow but hang back as I watch Riley and Jockstrap line up the beer pong.

He goes first and misses, then she goes second and gets it in the first time. “Drink up loser,” she laughs. I continue watching as my girl wipes the floor with the two, big ass men on the opposite team.

“Oooh, last one,” Jockstrap announces as he hands the ball to Riley to take the winning shot. She leans over wiggling her ass as she tries to find just the right angle. What the fuck?? Is he looking at her ass?

I turn my attention to Jockstrap and sure enough, his eyes are firmly on my girl's ass. I don't like the guy and it would be so easy to beat his ass for daring to look at what's mine. But I know I have no right, so I try to compose myself with another beer. After all, I've already blown it so I might as well drink enough that I forget. It's not like it can make this night any worse.

“Suck it losers!” Riley calls out, breaking me out of my death stare.

The other team moans and groans as Riley jumps up and down excitedly.

A few others start berating the losers, “Taken down by a girl,” another guy cheers.

“Think you can do better, Chad?” Riley challenges.

Chad and what I can only assume is another brain-dead football player step up to the mark and begin setting up.

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