Page 25 of Gabriel's Salvation

“Erm, I was just about to start it now. What would you like?”

“Start it? It's almost 5p.m. Why the fuck isn’t it ready and waiting for me? My father demands, pushing her off him.

“I'm so sorry, I must have fallen asleep. I didn't have a very good night. I'm sorry” she stutters again. “I'll do it right now, though,” my mother says. “There's some steak in the fridge, it will only take me a few minutes to fry it up. And there's beer in the fridge. Go sit down and relax, and I'll bring it to you soon.”

“That goddamn baby kept you up again, didn't he? I don't know what's wrong with that kid. Always goddamn crying. Gabe was never like that,” my father snaps. I peer around the door and watch him walk into the kitchen.

“You need to do something about that little demon spawn; find some way to shut him up or I will,” my father snaps angrily with the threat hanging in the air.

“He can't help it, the poor thing has reflux. The doctors sent some new meds and milk. I'm picking it up tomorrow. Maybe that will help,” my mother says in a sad voice. I hate that sad voice. She doesn't have a sad voice with me. Only daddy.

“My boy, there you are,” he says, bending down and scooping me into his arms.

“You’re not a cry baby like your fucking brother, are you?” he asks as he pulls me onto his lap.

“No Daddy. I'm a good boy,” I say with a smile as we sit on the big chair. Daddy puts on the tv and we watch some football together.

“Mommy, can I have some water, pwease,” I shout.

“Here son, try some of this instead.” Daddy hands me his stinky Daddy juice and I take a sip. It tastes disgusting though and the bubbles burn my nose.

Mommy walks in at that moment and takes the bottle away from me.

“He can't have that, he's only little.” Mommy says, sounding worried.

“Who the fuck do you think you are talking to?” my daddy bellows as he stands up so fast I almost fly off his lap.

“No, nothing, I'm sorry I didn't mean…” Mommy says quickly but before she has a chance to say anymore, Daddy’s big hand hits her face. Mommy makes a strange noise and starts to cry.

Feeling so scared that I think I might be sick, I run into the bedroom to hide. As I do, I see baby Nathaniel fast asleep in the middle of the bed.

I run and hide in the wardrobe, as I hear my daddy shouting.

I hide at the very back, behind the big coats, and pretend I'm in Narnia. The book Mommy has been reading us at bedtime. I sit quietly knowing Daddy can't find me here. He'd tried once before but when he opened the wardrobe he didn't see me.

Suddenly, I hear the baby starting to cry. No, no, don't cry. Crying makes Daddy mad. I crawl out from my safe space and open the wardrobe. I rush over to the baby and try to pick up his little basket but it's too heavy. I see the milk bottle on the side and try to give him that but he still cries. Shush baby, please stop crying! His crying just gets louder and louder. My heart is beating so hard in my chest I’m almost sure it can be seen through my skin.

I know Mommy said I'm not allowed to pick him up in case I drop him but I have to stop the noise. I carefully pull him out of his basket and hold him close to me like Mommy does. Thankfully, he stops crying as soon as I do. Next, I try to pick up his bottle but I have no hands so I have to bite the nipple with my teeth. Finally, I take us both back into the wardrobe. I place him at the back, behind the coats then quickly turn to close the door behind us. Nathaniel begins to cry again so once the doors are closed and I'm hidden at the back, I pull Nathaniel back onto my lap and begin feeding him. Please be quiet baby; don't let Daddy find us. Nathaniel finishes the whole bottle then falls back to sleep. I sit there hiding for a long time. Long after the shouting has finished. I sit there holding Nathaniel even when my arms start to ache, until finally the door opens, and the coat gets moved to the side. That’s when I see Mommy’s face.

“I'm sorry, Mommy, I know I'm not allowed to hold the baby on my own. But…”

Mommy hushes me, “No, you did a good thing, Gabriel. You kept the baby safe. Mommy is very proud of you! You're the best big brother in the world.”

Chapter Nine

Gabe

The sound of a door slamming brings me back to reality.

“This is the last fucking message I’m leaving, I don't know where you are, you fucking whore, probably getting railed by whoever that guy was. The one you’re blatantly fucking. So much for being a virgin, yeah? Anyway, we're done. I don't want his fucking sloppy seconds anyway. Jessica gives better blowjobs and puts out. Oh, and while I was at college I fucked two other girls as well, so fuck you!” he bellows into the phone before throwing it onto the ground in frustration.

He bends down to try and find his phone in the dark. As soon as he stands up and turns to walk back inside, my fist connects with his jaw.

“That's for being a pussy who hits women,” I growl as I climb on top of him and my fist connects with his ribs. ''And that's for being a lying, cheating scumbag,'' I say as I connect with his jaw next.

“This is because I just really like beating the grin off your cheesy, fucking face,” I laugh as I stand and kick him in the ribs once more for good measure before leaving.

I get on my bike ready to go home, but something in me persuades me to go back to the motel to check on Stacey. So against every instinct in my body, that's where I go. I pull up to the parking lot, hop off my bike, and make my way to the room. As I get to the door, though, I realize I don't have the key. Shit! Why didn't you grab the key? My brain scolds me. Perhaps because I never take the key? Because I usually rush out the door as fast as my legs will carry me and never even look back. I argue back.

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