“With everything.” She took another sip of coffee. “What does your future hold?”
He couldn’t fail to see her meaning. He glanced at her slower, held her gaze longer. “I don’t know. But I do know I want you to be a part of it.”
Everything slowed down. The world stopped moving. His parting remarks last night were inside of her though, and she couldn’t help asking, “As a friend?”
His expression gave little away. “That bothered you?”
She kept her gaze trained on Harper, who was slowly wiping a finger around the frosting and lifting it to her lips. She was methodical and deliberate. Far from just stuffing the cupcake in her mouth and asking for another, she was making each precious moment count. She didn’t get a lot of treats, so she was clearly determined to enjoy it.
Skye felt as though she was on a precipice. What she knew to be good for her and what she felt she wanted were two different things. But having been hurt so badly in the past, she clung to the knowledge of her mind, ignoring any other whispered murmurings.
“Not at all. I didn’t expect to meet your family, nor for you to introduce me to them. It wouldn’t be appropriate.”
“Out of interest, why do you say that?”
He didn’t disagree with her, she noticed.
“Because that’s not what we are.” How many times had they said that? It was their mantra, their safety stone.
Silence sat between them. Skye sipped her coffee, doing her best to seem nonchalant, but she was glad when a dog bounded towards Harper and she had an excuse to walk away from Leandro, going to supervise the interactions. A short chat with the dog’s owners ensued and it was several minutes before she returned to Leandro. She’d needed the time to get her feelings under control. They were rioting without her permission, making her head and heart spin and tug and roll with turmoil.
She loved spending time with Leandro, but that wasn’t a good thing. She’d only known him a matter of weeks and he was already like the air that she breathed, somehow essential to her survival and happiness. She looked at him and saw the embodiment of everything she wanted in life, and knew that deep in her heart of hearts, she would do anything he asked of her. She groaned softly, drawing Harper’s curious little gaze. Maybe if this was a whole other world and she weren’t a mom, completely responsible for a little person’s life and growth, she might have been prepared to roll the dice on this and see where it went. But she’d ‘been there, done that’. She’d given everything to Jay and he’d taken it, and then more, and more and more until she didn’t recognize herself. She didn’t think Leandro would ever do the same thing—not intentionally. But Skye would. She would give Leandro everything she had, and if anything went wrong, she’d be destroyed. A risk she would take if she were alone in this world.
Harper picked up a little stone and angled it towards the sun. The stone had tiny little flecks that sparkled. “Pretty,” she smiled, blinked across at Skye for agreement. Skye nodded quickly, glad to have an excuse to stay crouched down with Harper a moment longer.
“Yes, darling, very pretty.”
Harper was her reason for being, not Leandro. Those two things couldn’t be true at once. She’d learned that in a very hard way—she was still paying the price for how much she’d trusted Jay. She couldn’t ever make that mistake again.
She stood slowly, turning back towards Leandro. She saw no traces of emotion in his face. It was as if her final statement had done nothing to him, whereas inside, she’d been angsting over whether or not they could ever be more than ‘friends’ or the ‘casual fun’ he’d suggested.
They couldn’t.
She knew that.
No matter what happened, she had to end this, once and for all. For her sake, for Harper’s, no matter what Leandro said, no matter what he promised. She wouldn’t let herself believe in happily ever afters. Not again.
Thirteen
AWEEK AFTER LEAVING MANHATTAN, and a week before he was due to return, Leandro’s phone began to ring, with Skye’s face on the screen. Driving to his parents’ house for a long overdue conversation, he punched the button for the speakerphone, his body reacting unmistakably to just the promise of her voice.
“Ciao, bella,” he practically growled. Seven days away from Skye was apparently his limit. He’d dreamt of her last night and the dreams were so vivid and real, so tantalizing, he’d woken feeling like someone had forced him into a year of celibacy.
“Leandro, hi.” Her voice was soft. He gripped the wheel, angling his face a little towards the seat beside him. He wished she were there. He could see Skye here, in Italy, in his low, powerful car. His eyes flicked to the rear vision mirror. He could get a car seat installed for Harper. She’d love Italy. They both would. The beginning of an idea formed, to bring them here as a surprise. Did Skye even own a passport? He doubted Harper would. “Are you there?”
He almost laughed. He’d been so distracted imagining Skye was with him he forgot she was on the phone.
“Si. How are you?” He could only remember one other time she’d called him—when Jay had threatened her, and she’d tried to end things with him. It sent a shiver down his spine for many reasons. “Are you okay?”
“Yes, and no.”
He frowned. “What does that mean.”
“Do you have a moment?”
I have all the time in the world for you. “Sure. What’s going on?”
Her soft sigh echoed all the way across the Atlantic, and onto the continent, flooding his car and his soul. “I can’t see you again.”