She massaged her lower lip. “I thought we weren’t doing gloomy backstories?”
“We don’t have to,” he said. “It’s up to you.”
She flicked a glance to him then looked away, because the wattage in his eyes was too much.
“I met a guy in my first semester of college.”
His look showed confusion. “And?”
Right. Of course it didn’t make sense to him.
“And,” she toyed with the stem of her wine glass before placing it up on the edge of the spa. She sat back, staring at the view, rather than at Leandro’s intensely beautiful face. “My relationship just wasn’t compatible with schooling.”
He frowned. “For what reason?”
“I’m scared to tell you this,” she said with a lift of one shoulder.
“Why should you be scared?”
“Because I feel as if someone like you will judge me for decisions I made back then. Decisions I hope I wouldn’t make again. Mistakes.”
He leaned forward, his face earnest. “Are you trying to tell me you robbed a bank?”
She laughed, despite the heaviness of her thoughts. “Just a few, when I needed the cash,” she responded in kind.
“That’s okay. We all have flaws.”
His grin made her skin lift with goosebumps.
“Jay—my ex—was charming. So charming.” She winced. “At least, he was at first. He was handsome and successful, and I got totally caught up in dating him. I thought I was falling in love. I thought he was too.”
“But you weren’t?”
She shook her head. “Maybe at first?”
“Did it end badly, cara?”
“You could say that.” She swallowed. “Somewhere along the way, he took over my life. Every aspect of it. I quit school because he thought I should. I got a job, but my pay went into his bank account. He said he could take care of all the boring stuff, leaving me free to pursue my interest. But I had no time to pursue my interests because he wanted me with him all the time. He read my messages, listened to my phone calls. I lost my friends because they couldn’t stand him and couldn’t stand what I became around him. And all the while, he would gaslight me constantly, putting me down so eventually, I lost all my confidence. He was jealous as all get out, and would follow me home from work.”
Across from her, Leandro was very still, his face a mask of something she couldn’t understand.
“Was he violent with you?” When he was feeling things deeply, his accent became more pronounced.
She shook her head. “Never.”
“There are other kinds of abuse, though.”
“Yes,” she whispered.
“So what happened?”
She glanced at him again. What was that expression? In for a penny, in for a pound…
“Things between us weren’t working. I was miserable. He knew it. We were barely a couple in the end. I think he knew I was going to end it, that I was building up the courage to walk away, even though I had absolutely nothing in the way of money or confidence. I knew that I was dying a little bit, every day, just staying with him.”
He expelled a long breath. “So you left?”
“Before I could leave, I got pregnant,” she said quietly. “And though I have never been able to prove it, I’m sure he messed around with my birth control or something. I think he wanted to trap me, to keep me with him forever.”