Page 92 of I Will Find You

Rachel stares another second before turning to me.

My mouth feels dry. “That’s where she went,” I say. “Cheryl, I mean.”

“Yeah, so?”

I say nothing.

“What does that have to do with anything, David? I mean, this company also owns pizzerias. You’ve been to those.”

I frown. “My marriage didn’t fall apart because of a visit to a pizzeria.”

“I don’t understand what you’re trying to say here.”

“Your sister went to that”—I make quote marks with my fingers—“‘institute’ behind my back.”

“I know,” she says in a voice so soft and gentle it almost feels like a caress. “But it led to nothing. You know that too.”

“Except it didn’t.”

“What do you mean?”

“I stopped trusting her.”

“You didn’t have to, David. Cheryl was in pain. You could have understood that. She didn’t go through with it.”

I see no reason to argue and perhaps she’s right. I stare at the logo and shake my head. “This isn’t a coincidence.”

“Of course it is. I just wish you could have understood.”

“Oh, I understood,” I say, my voice surprisingly matter-of-fact. “I was shooting blanks. It was putting a strain on our marriage. Cheryl figured maybe she could get pregnant with a donor and claim the baby was mine. I’m surprised she just didn’t fuck another guy and cut out the middleman.”

“That’s not fair, David.”

“Who’s she married to now, Rachel?” I counter. “You didn’t tell me that part.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“It’s Ronald, isn’t it?”

She says nothing. I feel my heart crack again. “Just a friend. That’s what she kept saying.”

“That’s all he was.”

I shake my head. “Don’t be naïve.”

“I’m not saying Ronald didn’t hope for—”

“It doesn’t matter,” I say because it’s true and I can’t listen to another word of this. “The only thing I care about now is finding Matthew.”

“And you think this”—she points at the stupid stork logo—“is the answer?”

“Yeah, I do.”

“How?”

But I don’t have the answer, so we sit in silence for a while.

After some time passes, Rachel says, “Are you still going to meet with that Skunk guy?”

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