Page 17 of Waiting for Friday Night

“What is it?”

Shania squirmed for a second before blurting out. “My dad.”

The smile on Halle’s face fell away. “Shania...”

“Are you really not going to tell me who he is?” Shania asked, her eyes narrowed.

“Why are you dragging this out? I told you not to worry about him.”

“I just don’t believe that you’d keep this a secret from me. Why?”

“Because you’re better off not knowing him, that’s why.” Halle stood and went to the fridge.

“I don’t believe you. Are you ashamed? Did you do something you weren’t supposed to? Did you keep me a secret from him?”

“You’ve been watching too many television shows.”

Halle opened the fridge and pulled out a soda. The movement allowed her to avoid meeting her daughter’s eyes. She wasn’t ashamed of what she’d done, but she also didn’t want to face the judgment of her family, friends and possibly her daughter if they knew the truth.

“I want to know.”

She turned back to her daughter and held up a hand. “No, Shania. Stop it. I’m not going to get into this with you. Not tonight and not ever. Your dad is not a part of our life. Haven’t I given you enough? Why won’t you trust me on this?”

Shania crossed her arms. “Because you won’t tell me anything. Nothing about him. Even if he was a deadbeat who hated you that would be better than you telling me nothing.”

“Are you bringing this up because you want a dad?”

“It’s not about wanting a dad. It’s about knowing who I am. Where I come from.”

“You know where you come from. Me. I gave birth to you. I raised you. I gave you everything you needed. Now you want to throw all that away just to find some random guy?”

Shania scowled. “Random guy?”

Halle sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. She’d said too much. Gone too far. “That’s it. Stop asking me. I’m not going to talk about this anymore.” Her voice tightened as frustration squeezed her.

Shania uncrossed her arms and placed her hands on her hips. Her eyes flashed defiantly as she stared back at Halle. “I’m not giving up on this.”

Halle pointed at her. “Yes, you are. This is over and done with. If you want a dad, then I’ll find you one.”

Her daughter scoffed and rolled her eyes. “I don’t want you to find me one. I’d rather you stay single forever than try to be with some guy just because you think it’ll make me stop asking about my real dad.”

Halle flinched as Shania’s words stoked the fire of her guilt. That was what this was about. Halle had told Shania that she was dating Gregory and now Shania thought she was just trying to distract her from her questions about her dad. The situation would be laughable if the thought hadn’t crossed her own mind. Halle liked Gregory and wanted to make their relationship work, but the more she’d hoped things would work out with Gregory, the more she’d wondered if Shania would stop asking questions if they became a real family.

She hated that the thought had even slipped into her head. She’d thought that she was enough for Shania. When she’d made the decision to have a child on her own, she’d been young and hadn’t thought about the eventual questions she’d be faced with. She didn’t want to be with Gregory just to make Shania stop asking questions about her dad, and she didn’t want Shania to think she was with Gregory for that reason.

“This conversation is over.”

“But, Mom—”

She held up her hand for Shania to stop. “Don’t but Mom me. This is done. I’m serious, Shania. Don’t bring this topic up to me again. It’s over, you hear me? Let it go.”

Shania stared back. Rebelliousness in her eyes. The same rebelliousness that had burned in Halle whenever she’d argued with her parents about why she should be allowed to attend a protest or rally. Halle met her daughter’s gaze unwavering. They were both just as stubborn, just as tenacious, when they wanted to know something.

After a few tense seconds, Shania shook her head before turning and rushing out of the room. Halle let out a sigh. She went back to the kitchen table and sat in her chair. She took a long sip of the soda and wished she’d chosen something stronger. Shania was getting more and more insistent about this. Halle had been able to deflect and change the subject easily for years, but now her daughter was persistent in knowing the truth. She didn’t know what to do. Halle didn’t believe for a moment that this was done. Anxiety clawed at her throat, and she squeezed her hands into fists. What would she do if Shania found out the truth behind her birth? How would her daughter feel to learn that her dad really and truly was some anonymous donor? It might break her heart even more to know there really was no way to find him.

Seven

Quinton blew his whistle. The kids on the football field stopped running the drills they’d been practicing and glanced his way. “That’s it for today. Let’s clean up.”

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