Page 47 of Before We Were Us

“I was the one working my ass off to keep the streets safe while my wife was at home screwing her flavor of the week. So I get it, I know how that shit feels. I could stand here and explain myself to you, give you all the details of my failed marriage. Or I could go to Brynn and tell her instead. I care about her, Taylor. From the very first time I saw her, I didn’t even know her name but I was drawn to her. It wasn’t me out looking to screw around, it was me finally realizing that while I’d been trying to get a fucking divorce for more than a year, it was okay for me to feel something for someone. It took me a long time to get to that point and I went about the shit all wrong, but I can’t make things right if I’ve got you and every other person standing between her and I. I need to try.”

She eyes me and I half expect her to knee me in the balls. The woman has no boundaries and when it comes to Brynn, I feel like that is multiplied by ten.

“She’s on the dance floor, purple dress, very short, and silver heels.” I give her a little nod and start to move around her when she places her hand against my forearm. “She may look a little different.”

“What do you mean different?”

All Taylor offers is a slight shrug before walking away leaving me to wonder. My pulse quickens with all the possibilities and the first thing I think is she did something drastic like cut off all her hair and is now blonde.

My feet move fast as I seek out the purple dress. Relief hits me when I see I’m wrong, I’d know the body anywhere.

Her hands up above her head, her hips sway to the music. When she turns and I find her eyes are closed as if she is lost in the beat, I move in. As I get closer I see what Taylor’s talking about. The light catches the coloring of her hair just right and I see the way it goes from raven to burgundy as it reaches the tips. The contrast with her dress only highlights the coloring even more.

Fuck, she looks incredible.

twenty-nine

. . .

Brynnlee

Strong arms circle my waist from behind and my body jerks in response. “Stay,” a soft whisper next to my ear insists, and my heart races. “Please.”

I don’t speak, not because I don’t have a million things I want to say. It’s because I can’t seem to form any words. They are there floating around in my brain but somehow getting lost in the way my body responds to his touch. I don’t want to like it. Scratch that, love it. I love how strong he feels holding me, and how safe I feel at that very moment. I shouldn’t feel safe. I don’t want to feel safe.

His body sways with mine, as he holds me close.

“Let me just hold you like this for a minute, before you push me away.” Jensen nuzzles in closer, and I hear him inhale as he skims over the side of my neck with the tip of his nose.

My throat feels raw.

“I just want to pretend for a second that these last two weeks haven't happened.”

“But it has.” I push the words past my lips and try to turn in his embrace.

“I’m married.” The confession hurts even though it's something I already know. “She cheated on me, probably more times than I’m aware of.”

Stepping forward his arms break apart and I turn to face him. The air in my lungs feels as though it's sucked out in one big whoosh. Seeing him, those gorgeous eyes and lips that I almost instantly fell in love with hit me. I wasn’t prepared for the way seeing him again would make me feel.

“Two wrongs do not make a right.” The buzz I was feeling quickly fades.

He’s beautiful standing there before me, stubble shadowing his jaw. Wearing jeans and a Henley, tight, fitting his chest making it hard not to reach out and place my hand there. “For whatever reason you decided that it was okay to put me in the position you did, doesn’t make me any less angry. I am not the kind of woman that thinks sleeping with another woman's husband is okay. Problems or not, Jensen, nothing about it is okay.”

“We are married only by paper,” he says in a rush taking a step toward me and I step back. “Before you and I were an us?—”

“There is no us,” I correct him and I notice the way his throat bobs when he swallows hard.

“There is,” he pushes back. “There’s a you and a me, then there is an us.” I shake my head but he doesn’t stop. “And I like us, in fact I fucking love us. I’m a better man when there is an us. I feel like I’m the man I was a long time ago, the man I lost. I haven’t felt like that man in a long time.”

“You lied to me.” It's something I can’t let go of.

“I never lied.”

“Lying by omission is still lying, Jensen.”

“We’ve been separated for more than a year,” he says in a rush.

"So why not just tell me that?” I say, throwing my hands out in frustration.

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