Now she wondered if she shouldn't have insisted that he stick to her given name. Times like now, when he used it, made her feel like he’d forgotten who she really was.
Somehow, it just wasn't the same as when her family affectionately called her Trinity. That she could relate to. It was almost an acronym of her full name, Taryn Tanita Trent, or a reference to the 'three Ts' as her parents used to joke. It was a warm and amusing pet name which made her feel cherished, whereas being referred to as Tara seemed to distance her from herself.
Still, she held the brief irritation in check, determined to enjoy herself this evening. With all the pressure and the heartache recently, she really did need to just let everything go for a little while and chill out.
Dinner was relaxed and enjoyable in a completely different way from the events they usually attended together. Not that those weren't enjoyable, but they did tend to be somewhat formal and stuffy, not the kind of events where you could just let your hair down.
There was still the pall of sadness hanging over the pair of them, but at least they both understood it. It would be a while before that inevitable period of mourning dulled to a manageable level.
Taryn's heart bled for Christian. He had so much resting on his young shoulders. Not just the grief of losing his father far too early but also having the responsibilities of the company resting even heavier on his shoulders.
Never mind his mother's growing dependency.
Taryn was lucky he had time to even think about taking her out for the evening, with everything going on.
She made a concerted effort to keep the conversation light and cheerful. They both needed a break and Christian certainly seemed to appreciate it.
There was a strange kind of intensity filling the vehicle as he drove her back to her little flat on the outskirts of the campus.
She was fortunate enough to have found something she didn't need to share. The trade-off was that it was tiny, but that suited Taryn since her life didn't seem to mirror, in even the slightest way, those of the other students who spent most of their time drinking and carousing.
Ironic, really, that Taryn was the one failing her classes, but at least she could console herself with the fact that she had far more noble reasons for her own shortcomings.
She'd get back on track eventually.
Her father wasn't thrilled, and he’d told her, in no uncertain terms, that he would not be paying for her to re-sit the year, and she couldn't really blame him. With her brothers and sister, there were four of them all together, and they all wanted to go to college. Her parents weren't short of cash, but it was still a big outlay when they were all enrolling simultaneously for different years, without her adding an additional one.
It wasn't a problem. Taryn would simply find herself a job, maybe take a flat mate if she really had to. It would mean giving up her bedroom and sleeping on the sofa bed in the living room, but she could make that sacrifice if necessary. She'd cross that bridge when she came to it.
Right now, her brain was scrambled by the distinct lack of oxygen which all seemed to have been sucked out of Christian's car. What was that all about?
She could feel her body heating, sweat crawling down the back of her neck at the way Christian kept looking speculatively over at her.
And what was with that?
It wasn't that he didn't look at her when they were out; it was just that, this time, there seemed to be a whole different weight of intent in the way he looked her up and down.
Was she imagining that gleam in his eyes? It wasn't something she recognised readily, but she was pretty certain it had never been there before.
Or maybe it was really just wishful thinking.
Taryn swallowed and made an effort to ignore the rising temperature in the confined space. She had tried to give up on wishing for Christian to see her as anything more than a friend. And since she understood his reasons, absolutely and unquestionably, that really hadn't been so difficult.
Sure, she’d hoped things might turn out differently one day, but she didn't think this soon after his father's death was an appropriate time for her hormones to suddenly go on an all-out rampage and start conjuring up unrealistic fantasies that were likely to trip her up and embarrass her.
Jeez, what was wrong with her?
Taryn tried to calm her racing heart and hoped beyond hope that Christian didn't pick up on the tension that seemed to be spinning all around her.
When they arrived back at her home, Taryn jumped out of the car as fast as she could, welcoming the evening chill to cool her heated skin and raging thoughts.
Christian followed her to the door, and Taryn cursed herself for being so edgy that she hadn't thought to say her thank yous and goodbyes in the car, sending him on his way before she embarrassed herself.
She almost forgot to breathe when he engulfed her tiny hand in his own and steadied it enough so that she could finally manage to get the key into the lock.
Damn it all, what the hell must he think?
She could feel the heat of his body burning into her back as if there was no space between them at all, but she didn't dare to look because she didn't know what it might mean if she found it to be true.