Page 33 of Friends with Benefits (Club Risqué)

She knew her own limitations and weaknesses. Unless she told him at the outset and trusted in Christian's innate integrity to endorse her wishes, she would cave in, fall at the first hurdle and be begging him to consummate their new covenant.

There was a distinct possibility she might do that anyway. Trinity wasn't good at denying herself anything she really wanted. It just happened that she rarely 'really' wanted anything …except where Christian was concerned, obviously.

But she did trust him to hold things back if that's what she asked him to do before they got started.

When she did have sex with him—and she would; she knew that right down to the tips of her red painted toes—she had just one condition.

And that was one she would discuss with him tonight.

ChapterTwenty-Five

Tonight, Christian walked through the doors of Club Risqué with a lot more confidence than he had the night before.

Well, that wasn't strictly true. No one who had seen him yesterday would have labelled him as lacking in confidence; it was one of those things he could pull around himself like a cloak. It was only on the inside, where nobody else could see, that his lack of assurance was evident.

It used to be a common thing, in those early days when everything in his life had been so precarious and unpredictable, so he had lots of practice at hiding it.

Everything except Trinity, of course. She had always been a sure thing. Always there, always reliable, always quietly, patiently waiting in the wings until he decided to pull her forward.

It had never once been his intention to use her, and he never would have gone there if it hadn't been for the fact that he knew, with absolute certainty, that Trinity had reaped her own satisfaction from their arrangement.

He had recognised much later, during his deeper entrenchment into BDSM, that the Taryn he’d known back then was what would be described, in the lifestyle, as a service submissive. But Dominance and submissiveness was not something that had been a factor of the relationship they shared, even though, in hindsight, there were obvious, latent tendencies on either side.

Once again, a sharp spear of regret stabbed Christian in the chest.

He wasn't stupid; he'd known Trinity had deeper feelings for him than he had been prepared to deal with. And his reasons had been genuine and sincere in the beginning.

Hell, they'd been genuine and sincere until the very end.

It was just that Bianca had crept up and caught him unawares, then blindsided him.

Their meeting had been accidental - or so he’d thought at the time. In retrospect, Christian suspected he’d always been her mark.

Logan Thornton had invited him to the original Club Risqué as a guest. It had just been for drinks that first time, but Christian had been intrigued.

Bianca had been there, and sly barracuda that she was, she’d sussed him out and proceeded to use his desperation to exert a little control over his life to introduce him to the BDSM club scene in more depth.

During those early days, it had been Taryn… Trinity, with whom he’d wanted to explore things with. But she was such an innocent soul, and Bianca somehow managed to influence his thought processes, and then manipulated his interest to her own ends.

It had been perfectly timed. He’d been at such a low point in his life that Bianca had provided what seemed like a lifeline. And when she'd thrown that to him, he had fallen for it, hook, line, and sinker, and she had reeled him in.

Christian had been smitten and infatuated, utterly bowled over by her knowledge and enthusiasm and her eagerness to show him what he was missing. She had pulled him and pushed him, setting him on a rollercoaster of exhilaration and delight at a time when everything was bleak and disheartening.

And she had filled him with stories about how it would change his life.

Well, she had done that all right, he thought bitterly.

In the process, he had managed to completely overlook the person who had meant the most to him: Taryn, who was always there for him, no matter what, with her quiet, dependable ways, and who never pushed for anything. He goddamn hated himself for that.

Shaking off the unwanted thoughts of his ex-wife—God! He detested even having to think about her in those terms—Christian made his way upstairs and went to find Trinity. He needed her to chase those dark thoughts away and have her provide a little bit of that calm and reliable aura which always soothed him so much.

He didn't deserve her, he knew. He had taken her for granted. She had become such an ingrained and steadfast part of his life that maybe he was guilty of believing she was always going to be there, no matter what.

But he’d been given a second chance. When her family, and even his own mother - when she was still talking to him - had refused to tell him where she was after she left and cut off all contact with him, he’d allowed himself to be persuaded that she was better off without him.

Now they’d reconnected though, all past agreements were off.

There was no way he was going to let her go again. And he was impatient to explore the lifestyle with her now that he finally had the opportunity.

---