Page 57 of The Paradise Problem

Oh and we went to a party that was very fancy.

You would have loved it.

Are you trying to distract me from asking about the kissing?

Yes.

How was it?

The kissing, not the party.

His mouth is really great.

Like, REALLY great

But that’s not why I’m here!

Isn’t it a little bit why you’re there?

To fake-kiss him?

I’m being paid to be the perfect wife and so far I’d give me a C-

I think a perfect wife bangs.

Which is why banging could and should happen.

It would definitely knock you up to an A

Vivienne Amir. pls.

Also never say “knock you up” in a fake-wife situation

You wouldn’t say that if you weren’t already thinking about sex….

Hush

Your last sex was Micah, right?

Micah. A waiter at her parents’ café. Very hot. Very unskilled.

Yes. Two stars. Would not return.

Which is honestly such a bummer

He looked like he knew how to read a map but i guess not

Narrator: Like most men, Micah didn’t stop to ask for directions

And now every shift we work together I’m like

Sir I know she left your bed as soon as she could

Like the body wasn’t even cold

And he knows I know

And it is all very awkward

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