Page 67 of Darkest Sin

After putting all the locks into place, I wander into my home, putting the key on the counter and pausing, staring down at the phone I haven’t touched since last night.

There’s only one voice that could make me feel okay, but as the heartbreak washes over me and the words he last said to me sound in my head—just know that if you call me, I will come. If you feel unsafe, I will be here, but I cannot guarantee that I will be capable of walking away from you again. If you call, be sure—I walk away, leaving the phone behind, more determined than ever to try and put Killian DeLorenzo behind me.

30

CHIARA

Blowing out a heavy breath, I look around my bland apartment as I prepare for another night at work. I used to be so proud of my home, so pleased with everything I’d managed to accomplish on my own, but having Killian standing in my apartment, even for just a moment, made everything seem so small and insignificant.

He’s larger than life, and seeing him in my home made me feel like everything I’ve accomplished in this life means absolutely nothing compared to his empire. I no longer feel excited by my life. It all feels so dull compared to the life I could have had with Killian, and I don’t mean materialistic things.

Being by his side was thrilling. Getting to be in his arms was a rush. Being the woman who occupied his bed was explosive, but digging my nails into his heart and claiming him as my own was the whole fucking world.

God, I miss him.

Everything hurts without him, and I know the concept of being his within the world he rules meant constantly living with a target on my back, but despite all of that, I think he was wrong to push me away because people don’t just feel like this. I’ve had boyfriends, and there were times in my life when I thought I was in love, but never like this.

It consumes me, and every moment trying not to think about him is crippling. I just need one more chance to be in his arms, one more night indulging in his insane orbit.

I need to be his. I belong to him. Every piece of my shattered soul is his, and without him, I’ve never felt so empty. But more than that, I don’t just want to be his, I want him to belong to me too. I want every piece of who he is to be mine. I want to love him and be loved by him. I want it all. Hell, even if it means popping out a few kids and spending every day of the rest of my life calling myself his wife.

I’ve never wanted anything so bad, and I don’t even care if that makes me sound like a lovestruck teenager, crazy about some stupid boy. I’ll be that stupid teenager if it means getting to have him. I get it though, and I understand why he pushed me away. He’s absolutely right, his world would have destroyed me. I wouldn’t survive it, but I believed he’d be able to protect me. I still do, and his doubts about his ability to do so destroy me.

A stupid sigh tears from deep in my chest, and I whip around and cross my apartment to the lonely phone that sits on my kitchen counter. I scoop it up, open the text chain with Killian, and simply stare.

It’s my closest connection to him right now. The words he wrote me, they’re all I have left, but I need more.

Without a proper conscious thought, my fingers sweep across the screen.

Chiara — Take me home to you.

Delete.

Chiara — I miss you.

Delete.

Chiara — Stop being such an arrogant asshole and see what’s right in front of your face. I belong right there with you. I love you, and I know you love me, too. Nothing else should matter.

Letting out a heavy sigh, I go to delete that too when a loud noise echoes out in the hallway, and as my brows furrow, I drop the phone to the table and hurry to my door to peer through the little peephole. Wherever the noise came from is too far down the hall, and all I’m able to see is my neighbor’s dirty doorway. I let out a huff, wishing for just a little bit of excitement in my day.

I go to turn away when a loud, piercing scream sounds from out in the hall, this time much closer, but in an instant, the scream cuts off like someone physically silenced it.

My heart races as I shove my face against the door again, desperately trying to figure out what’s going on, when a shadow cuts in front of my door. I suck in a gasp, pulling away and hoping like fuck whoever it is keeps on going, only the shadow hovers, soon turning into two and then three.

I shake my head as I back up a few steps, my stomach knotting with a deep dread knowing that somehow this is retaliation by Monica. I provoked her the other night. I foolishly believed I was untouchable, that she couldn’t hurt me while I was outside her world . . . but now? Fuck.

How stupid could I have been?

I back up another step as fear clutches me with both hands, refusing to release me, and just when I think I could be wrong, that it’s all in my head, a loud BANG sounds on the other side of my door, rattling the whole fucking wall.

“Oh fuck, no,” I panic, frozen to the spot.

Another BANG sounds through the door, and when the flimsy wood begins to splinter, I’m thrown into action. I lunge for the phone on the kitchen counter, my hands scrambling to scoop it up as the door finally gives in.

Pieces of my front door go flying through my apartment as three masked men storm in. A piercing scream tears from the back of my throat as I make a break for it, gripping the phone as I race through my too-small apartment.

They storm after me, their shouts of ‘get her’ turning my blood to ice as my fingers desperately try to move across the screen, knowing there’s only one man who could possibly help me now.

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