Lord, feeling it and saying it aloud were entirely different things. Only in the dark recesses of her mind had she allowed herself to admit that fact. She’d told Graham, but to bear the truth, her brutal truth, was eviscerating. Shame sliced through her midsection.
“You’re not stupid.” Scarlett glared at her. Hard.
Rebecca stared at her, at Dorothy, and could only shrug. No, she wasn’t stupid, but she hadn’t followed her instincts or made something of herself, either. It had been something she’d battled for a long time. She’d failed. Over and over. Day after day. Month after month. Year after year.
Until she barely recognized herself in the mirror.
“It took guts to try.” Dorothy set her drink on the floor beside her hip. “A small town like Vallantine wouldn’t prepare you very well for the rest of the world. You had goals and a dream for yourself, and you tried. That took grit and determination and guts. If you didn’t catch a break, if they didn’t give you one, that’s their loss, and our gain. Most people never would’ve made it out the front door.”
“She’s right.” Scarlett drew a breath and let it out, her gaze searching. “I know you feel disappointed in yourself, but we don’t. Never have. If the Rebecca from our childhood had met the you of today, she wouldn’t, either. You made it on staff at a newspaper, and now, look at you. You’re practically your own boss. You were just offered an editor position. You write what you want, when you want, and there’s twenty-five hundred residents anxiously awaiting your words every morning.”
Rebecca nodded, some of the weight in her chest lifting. Her besties were right, but it would take a bit for belief to sink in. Wounds didn’t heal overnight. Not even self-inflicted ones.
“Based on what you’ve told us, Graham has battled his own demons.” Dorothy leaned back on her hands. “It doesn’t excuse his behavior, but what Gunner did probably fed into Graham’s insecurities, and he lashed out at you.”
She was right, yet again. They’d hash it out later when Rebecca wasn’t so raw.
Up went Scarlett’s brows. “Bettin’ he regrets it.”
Rebecca smiled despite the turmoil in her chest. She’d talk to him later. If need be, she’d accept the offer from Gunner, then hire Graham so they could continue the same roles they’d had the past couple months. Something. She didn’t know, but she needed space to think.
“You love him, don’t you?” Scarlett grinned. “The kind of swoony, head-over-heels love we’d made up stories about as girls on the couch back there while Mr. Brown rolled his eyes.”
“The kind of stories you made up,” Dorothy corrected.
Rebecca huffed a laugh and tilted her head to stretch her neck. The achiness was more pronounced, but she’d worked herself into a tizzy, and it was storming.
“Fine.” Scarlett dramatically waved her hand. “Don’t answer me.”
“I do love him.” It was jarring, admitting it to another soul.
Rebecca sighed, recalling the happily-ever-afters Scarlett had profusely touted in her dreamy tone in this very library. Fiction, nothing more. Or so Rebecca had thought, until they’d played matchmaker for their favorite teacher and their favorite librarian. Fairytales hadn’t seemed so unrealistic once they’d proven their theory and succeeded. But love wasn’t about throwing two people together. They required proper pairing, chemistry, interests, and respect. They had to be the correct fit for it to work.
She had zero doubt in her mind Graham was her fit, her missing puzzle piece. Had she not chosen now to come home, had Gammy not passed away, had Graham not been exposed in a scandal that wasn’t his fault, they may never have met. What an irrevocable shame that would’ve been, them not coming together or ever crossing paths.
Perhaps Scarlett had been correct, after all. Vallantine had some magic to it.
“I’m not sure he feels the same, but I love him.”
“He does.” Dorothy winked. “When we were setting up The Gazette, making copies and such, I caught him watching you more than once. And when he found out about your fibromyalgia, I swear, he was in just as much pain. He might not know it yet, but he loves you.”
One could only hope. Then again, he treated Rebecca with kindness and reverence like he was invested, like she mattered to him an awful lot. He tried to take care of her. That was the other thing about love she was coming to discover. Sometimes, the proof was in the details.
Scarlett glanced around Rebecca. “The rain stopped.”
A check of her watch had Rebecca realizing a couple hours had passed since the besties had come to the rescue. No wonder she hadn’t noticed the storm had passed. The air was still sticky with humidity, but the tangible pressure had abated.
She smiled. “You two can head out. Thank you for coming.”
They got to their feet.
“You sure?” Dorothy asked.
“Yeah. We can stay as long as you need.”
How Rebecca adored these two. What would she do without them? “Yep. I’m going to stay a bit. I’ll clean up. Go on. Thank you, though. Seriously.”
A hug, some more quick witty banter, and her friends left.