Page 49 of In This Moment

She laughed. “I’m guessing one of our friends mentioned it?”

That was her reply? Not helpful. “I wish you had told me.”

Ducking her head in acknowledgement, she apologized. “I should’ve, yes. It’s not a topic I drop in casual conversation.”

Okay, that he could understand. They’d just met a couple weeks ago. “So, what is…it, exactly?” He’d already forgotten how to pronounce the condition.

“Fibromyalgia, and no one’s truly sure what causes it. Most doctors believe it’s an over-abundance of nerve reactions or that it’s a form of an autoimmune disease where the immune system attacks healthy cells by accident. Some people experience symptoms after a serious psychological stressor or a bad physical accident, but either way, it’s hard to diagnose. There’s no imagining or labs that detect it. In my case, it took quite a few years and a litany of tests to rule out other things before my diagnosis.”

It sounded horrible. He despised regular checkups, never mind hospitals. She’d been in Boston while her close friends and solitary family member had been here. The thought of her going through that alone tore at him.

“What kind of tests?”

“A lot of labs, mostly. They ruled out lupus, multiple sclerosis, rheumatoid arthritis, spondylitis, Sjogren’s syndrome, and Cushing disease because they have similar symptoms, however they checked for other things like diabetes and cancer, too. Eventually, they sent me to an endocrinologist who worked alongside a rheumatologist, and they figured out what was wrong.”

That was insane. “All that just to tell you that you have fibromyalgia?”

She shrugged, way more nonchalant than he’d be in her situation. “Those have to be ruled out first before determining it’s fibro. In fact, besides symptoms, it’s the only way to diagnose.”

Which brought up concern number two. “What symptoms?”

Humming in thought, she turned onto their street. “Everybody has varying ones, but most have fatigue and a dull widespread pain throughout their body. Others have had headaches, irritable bowels, memory issues, insomnia, that kind of thing. Thus far, I’ve been fortunate. I just have pain and fatigue.”

Just. She just had those things, as if it was no big deal.

Pulling into his driveway, she parked. “There’re prescriptions that can be taken, but because it behaves like an autoimmune disease, those are the meds for it. I work in a job around people, so I didn’t want to be shutting off my immune system. I went the holistic approach since it was best for me. Vitamins, yoga, massage therapy, and herbs to help me sleep at night.” She met his gaze, and he found no distress in hers. She shrugged. “I know my limitations and listen to my body. I try to avoid stress, don’t push my muscles too hard, rest.”

That’s what she’d been doing the past few weeks, though. Burying her grandmother, moving home, starting a new job, lifting boxes, redecorating the office. All stressors and physical stuff.

A sigh, and he glanced at her driveway next door, watching Scarlett and Dorothy let themselves into her house. His head was a riot and he had so many more questions.

“Are you okay?”

He laughed without mirth. She had constant pain, and she was asking if he was okay? “Will it ever go away? Or…will you get sicker?”

She was shaking her head before he’d even finished. “It’s a chronic lifelong condition, but it’s not progressive.”

That, at least, brought him a semblance of relief.

Nodding, he studied her. Beautiful oval face, huge blue eyes, full lips, regal neck, blonde hair falling past her slender shoulders. One would never know the struggles she faced daily or the baggage she had to carry. If not for her friends, he wouldn’t have been aware anything was wrong. An invisible illness.

Unsure why emotion had him by the jugular, he cupped her face. He’d met her a handful of weeks ago. Yes, he respected the hell out of her, was attracted to her, and adored how their personalities jived despite the differences, but he’d had his dentist longer than they’d been neighbors or colleagues. There shouldn’t be an overwhelming sense of empathy on her behalf or the desire to suddenly start slaying her metaphorical dragons. He’d been with Felica nearly two years and hadn’t reached this stage. For crying out loud, he’d kissed Rebecca for the first time yesterday.

“I’m not fragile.” She offered a smile. “I won’t break.”

Maybe that was it. The culprit. Appearances were deceiving. She was slender in nature and seemed so very delicate. But she was the farthest conceivable thing from weak. Life and circumstances had tried to crush her, yet here she was, still standing. A testament to her nature and strength.

A swallow worked her throat. “If you want to return to just a working relationship, I’d understand.”

“That’s not what I want.”

Her gaze swept his face, more intimate than if she’d physically touched him. “What do you want?”

Honestly? He wanted to take care of her. A concept so foreign to him, it might as well be Greek. And she didn’t need anyone to take care of her. She did it just fine on her own.

He went with door number two. “I’d like to carry you in the house and make love to you half the night.”

Rearing, her brows went up as if she hadn’t expected that answer.

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