Page 29 of Reign or Shine

“I’m not,” I say again at a more reasonable volume. “I had my moment in the sun with Henry but there was no future for us.”

“He said that?”

“No, but—”

“And you believe it?”

“Well, it wouldn’t be easy so I—”

“Honey, I love you. You’ve been like a daughter to me over these last three years. A true godsend. But right now, you’re being incredibly stupid.”

Shocked at what she’s saying and completely insulted, I jump up from the sofa and begin pacing. My ankle protests at the sharp movement and I slow down, going from a stomp to an agitated slow walk. I round the sofa once, twice, my fingers lost in my wild hair as I squeeze my temples with the palm of my hands.

I’m sputtering, trying to find the right words to defend myself. But the longer I pace, the more sense Shirley makes. I don’t like thinking that I’m a coward, yet that might be exactly what I am.

Did I make up my mind without weighing all the options?

Had I imagined words in Henry’s mouth? Tearing us apart before he got the chance to tell me what he wanted? What he was feeling?

I’d run away before the real fight began. I was a coward.

My hands drop to my sides and a new wave of tears takes me. I topple back on the sofa, my impact causing Shirley to bounce on her side.

“What have I done?” I moan into a pillow, squeezing it tight to my face.

Shirley curses beside me. A moment later, the pillow is yanked from my arms and I watch it soar across the room.

“Get your ass up and go.”

“Shirley, I love you, but you’re being really mean to me today,” I whine to her.

“Stop your complaining. You’ll thank me later for this tough love once you’ve gotten your man back.”

Rolling my eyes and silently asking for divine intervention, I take a long, shaky breath and try to reason with Shirley.

“It’s too—”

“Goddamn it, Ellie! When did you become this sad sack of whiny bones? Where did the fierce woman I hired three years ago go? The one who was scared shitless but still moved across the country to follow her heart? The one who started from scratch but showed up every day ready to learn? Where’s that woman? Huh?”

Eyes wide in disbelief, I stare at Shirley as she gathers herself. I’m not sure if I should be insulted (again) or flattered by her impassioned speech. I’m still processing her words when she speaks again.

“Don’t let fear stop you this time, Ellie. If you love him, isn’t he worth fighting for?”

He was. The words echo across my mind and shoot directly into my heart, causing a burning sensation to spread through my chest. He was worth fighting for.

With a new determination, I stand, ready to go get my man.

“For the love of God, please shower first,” Shirley yells at my back as I march into the bedroom. I pivot quickly, one hand on the door, and glare back at her before slamming the thing in her face. I can hear her laughter, and it does lighten my mood again, but I can’t stop now.

I have an earl to win back.

Chapter Thirteen

Henry

“Is this where all the grumpy men meet now?”

I hear my cousin’s comment but don’t look away from the spot on the wall I’ve been staring at for the last…however long. The only outward sign I give that I heard Ambrose’s stupid joke is a low grunt.