Page 44 of Blood on the Tide

I don’t have much experience with healers beyond those that live in Viedna. Their specialty is specifically my people. Ours is a particular flavor of magic that takes a careful hand to coax. The rules for normal shifters don’t quite apply, so we don’t tend to go to others for help when there’s an injury or sickness.

But all it takes is one look at Lizzie’s face to know that any argument will be met with a brick wall. She wants me to see a healer, and so she will drag me there even if I’m kicking and screaming in protest. The very thought of fighting exhausts me, which is enough to make me worry that she’s right. That maybe we shouldn’t do this again.

No. I refuse to accept that. We only have a short time together, and I’m not about to waste it just because we lost control once. I was an active participant. I could have pushed her away and she would’ve gone. Instead, I held her closer and drove her pleasure higher, knowing that it fractured her control in the process.

“I’m sorry,” I finally say.

She snarls at me. “Don’t you dare apologize to me. There’s only one person to blame, and it’s not you.”

We can circle this conversation over and over again, but we’re not going to get anywhere in our current positions. Better to get out of this cabin for a little while. To gain some perspective. To remind ourselves why we’re here in the first place. I’ve reclaimed my skin, but Lizzie is still without her family heirlooms.

A perverse part of me wants to do exactly the opposite. Every step closer to retrieving her stolen items is another step closer to losing her. I want to pull her close and do whatever it takes to lose ourselves in each other until we forget all about her mission to reclaim those jewels and return home. Until she realizes that her mother is a monster who doesn’t have to maintain a hold on her. Lizzie could be happy here in Threshold, I think.

Maybe she could even be happy with me.

I don’t say the words aloud. She won’t be receptive to them right now, not with guilt riding her so hard. I suspect that Lizzie has never felt guilty once in her life, and therefore has no immunity to the sensation. Something to unpack later, perhaps.

“If I ask for a bath, are you going to lose it completely?”

She glares at me, but her expression falls into one that I’m more familiar with: complete arrogance. “I won’t lose control again.”

I examine the gauntlet that she just threw at my feet and tuck it away for later use. Just like our current argument. “In that case, I feel awful, and I think getting clean would help.”

My bath is significantly less eventful than the last one, but I do feel like a completely different person by the time I’ve pulled clean clothes on. Lizzie even takes the opportunity to dunk herself a few times. She looks more like the vampire I know once she’s pulled on her pants and shirt and laced up her boots. But the air of brittleness remains.

It doesn’t fade as the days tick by and my strength slowly returns. I still feel like I’ve been run over by a water horse, but I’m steadily improving. Lizzie hovers over me like a mother bird protecting her chicks, though I know better than to point it out or complain. She’s worried about me, and even as I start to chafe under that worry, it warms my heart to know she cares.

Three days later, we emerge on deck to find Drash looming before us. I’ve only read about this place. Its towering cliffs seem to reach into the sky and offer no entrance. We sail along the south coast, and I’m increasingly confused about how we’ll reach the port... if there even is one. This island is essentially a tower, though one built by nature rather than people.

Alix guides us into an opening that I never would’ve noticed on my own, so narrow that I could reach out and touch the cliff walls as we pass. After a few minutes, we sail into a remarkably large bay. There are a handful of other ships here, and I exhale in relief when I note that the sails are mundane white. Not Cwn Annwn. Perfect.

The village itself is built into tiers that rise up along the cliff face, round windows and doors carved into the rock, giving an indication of how many people live here. More than I could have guessed on our circuit of the perimeter. I stare up and up and up, counting easily a dozen tiers reaching well over a hundred feet, nearly to the top of the cliffs.

Rin moves to stand next to me, zir scales a nice healthy green. Ze flicks zir tongue at me in a way I’ve come to learn is how ze gathers more information about zir environment. “You’re looking better.”

“I’m feeling better, too.” I shoot a glance at Lizzie out of the corner of my eye, but she’s got her head close to Alix’s and is discussing something in a soft voice. Even so, I feel her attention on me. It’s not a heated thing, more that she believes I’ll collapse at any moment and is poised to spring to catch me. It’s comforting and disconcerting all at the same time. “Thank you for your help before. I know that wasn’t easy for you.”

“It’s fine.” Ze shrugs. “The crew likes you quite a bit. The vampire might scare the shit out of us, but it’s obvious you hold her leash. We have a vested interest in keeping you alive.”

Hold Lizzie’s leash? Zir statement almost makes me laugh. There’s no one holding that vampire’s leash. I can barely keep her from murdering everyone she comes across who slightly inconveniences her. But I don’t challenge Rin as we drop anchor and the crew gathers round.

Alix gives out orders, designating four people to stay with the ship and the rest to go ashore. They turn and look at me and Lizzie. “We have some trading to do here, since we don’t come up this way often. We have no intention of leaving without you, so you’re more than welcome to do whatever errands you need to while we’re here. You can find me in the tavern when you’re done with your business.”

I glance at Lizzie. Does she realize what progress she must have made for them not to toss us overboard and take off the moment they have the chance? Impossible to say. Her expression is perfectly locked down, even when she looks at me. It couldn’t be clearer that she intends to distance herself from me.

Well, that’s not going to work for me. I got a taste of what it could be like to really be with her, and I’ll be damned before she slams that door in my face out of fear. It would be one thing if she didn’t want me, but the barrier now standing between us is guilt and fear. Unacceptable. We have so little time left together that I’m determined not to waste it. I’m going to knock down that barrier the first chance I get.

I’m going to seduce myself a vampire.

chapter 22

Lizzie

I barely have the space to worry about this new village and these new people because I’m too busy worrying about Maeve. Drash is more city than village, though I’ve never been in a city I could see in a single glance. It reminds me of the natural amphitheaters that exist in my realm, but so much more intentional. Later, I’ll be curious. Right now, I’m focused on getting Maeve to a healer.

She keeps telling me she’s fine, as if she didn’t spend two full days unconscious. Vampire blood can heal, but in my experience, there are plenty of supernatural creatures who would rather die than take it. Sometimes there are adverse effects. Sometimes unintended paranormal consequences. I don’t know enough about selkies, let alone selkies in Threshold, to risk it. Hurting Maeve more than I already have is unacceptable.

I’ve never really worried about hurting people before. I don’t like the sensation. I hate how helpless it makes me feel. But the alternative is walking away, and that’s even more unacceptable.

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