Page 64 of The One I Left Behind

I turn to face him, knowing if we’re moving toward a future he has to know. “It’s Waylon Knight.”

He strips his gaze off me and my heart plummets. Waylon was in Jude’s year and was never seen as a great man in Willowbrook. Even in his teens, he was always getting into trouble. After he graduated, he never amounted to anything other than an exceptional bar patron.

“Knight?” he asks with disbelief in his tone. “I didn’t think… I mean, I thought he left town after graduation.”

“He came back after you went to college. His grandmother passed, and he had to settle her affairs. One night, about a month after we broke up, I went to a bar in Hickory to meet Laurel, but when I got there, she messaged to say she’d gotten hung up at school. He and I met up and swapped ‘sorry for me’ stories.”

“Yeah, I don’t want to hear anymore,” he says, his voice tight.

I worry that maybe I just ruined his night. He already feels the pressure of playing well tonight. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“You didn’t. I’m mad at myself. That I put you in that position.” His fingers run along the steering wheel, not looking at me.

“I hate to tell you this, but I’m an adult. I put myself in that position. And I’d do it again to have Clayton.”

“No, I know. I get it. It’s just…” He finally looks at me. Will the pain in his eyes ever go away? He has to forgive himself if we’re going to move forward. “Gillian…”

“What?”

“Did he touch you?”

I want to chuckle, but I bite my lip to stop. “I got pregnant, Ben.”

“No, I mean… you’ve flinched a couple times when I’ve gone to touch your face.”

I look down, more uncomfortable than I was telling him that Clayton’s father is a guy Ben always despised. A guy he got into fights with in the hallways at school. The guy he beat out on the football field. Admitting that the man I chose to sleep with hit me isn’t anything I want to relive with Ben.

“Gill…” He tugs me to his side.

I go willingly, wanting the comfort he offers. I suck in a deep breath before I speak. “Twice. Then he left town, and I haven’t seen him since.”

“Does he know about Clayton?” He wraps his arm around me.

“He knows I was pregnant.”

“Did he hit you when you were pregnant?” I don’t answer, and he puts his hand under my chin urging it up, so I look at him. “Did he?”

I nod, my chest tight.

He pulls me into him, swallowing me in his warmth and shelter. “I’m gonna kill the bastard.”

“He hasn’t come back. He’s never going to. Who knows, he might have drunk himself to death already,” I say.

“Fuck, Gillian, if I hadn’t?—”

“No, Ben.” I slide out of his grip. “No more sorrys. I made a decision, and I’ve lived with the consequences, one of which is the best thing in my life. It’s done and over. He’s out of my life forever.” I place my hands on his face, forcing him to look at me. “Now kiss me, and if you hit a home run out there, maybe you’ll hit a home run later tonight.”

I give my best attempt to change this energy in this cab, but the anger hasn’t left his stiff body and murderous eyes.

“Don’t do that, Gillian.”

“It was years ago, and I’ve made peace with it.”

“But you flinched,” he says, sounding pained.

“I’m not flinching anymore.” I don’t even remember flinching. “Come on, Ben.”

Someone pounds on the hood of the truck.

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