Page 51 of The One I Left Behind

Ben has a point, but still, why would he not play on the Plain Daisy Ranch softball team? Every year, all the ranches play against one another, and although you don’t win anything tangible, it’s holding the title that matters.

“You’re fucking kidding me, right?” Jude is visibly upset, sitting up straighter, eyes locked on Ben.

So much between them needs to be aired out, but they’re both too proud to do it.

Sadie puts her hand on Jude’s forearm.

“Fine. I’ll do it.” Ben shrugs.

“You were joking, right?” Brooks leans in and asks, because it would’ve been a dick move if Ben didn’t join the team.

“I didn’t know if you had room for me,” Ben says, and I take note to ask him about that later.

“There’s always room, especially for someone who’s going to get us the win,” Brooks says.

Jude stands so abruptly his chair falls behind him onto the ground. He storms off. Sadie gives us all a wan smile, following him.

“Let’s do shots.” Brooks stands and heads to the bar.

“We’re old, we don’t do shots,” Lottie hollers after him, but we all know she’ll do the shot.

Other conversations pick up around us, and I lean into Ben. “Why would you not want to play on the team?” I whisper.

His hand slides under the table, landing on my knee. When he runs his hand up and down my leg, he ignites the flame inside me that had died to burning embers after our make-out session.

He looks at the empty spot Jude left. “I don’t want to step on anyone’s toes, and I don’t want the expectations Brooks just put on me.”

I can see that. Jude started the softball league after he graduated high school, so it’s always been his thing. And everyone thinks Ben will go out there and dominate just because he was a professional athlete.

Brooks brings the shots over and passes them out. “To beating Walker Matthews and Wild Bull Ranch this year.”

Everyone cheers and downs the shot.

I cough because I haven’t had straight alcohol in years.

“That means you need another, Gillian.” Brooks leaves to go back to the bar again.

“I do not. I have a son to get home to.”

Ben gives me side-eye since he knows Clayton is staying at Drew’s.

Someone brings up high school, and memories flow out of everyone. Each of us has our fair share. The drinks flow, and Brooks keeps bringing shots.

I start to feel buzzed and stop pushing Ben’s hand off my leg. I uncross my legs, and his fingers slide down to the inside of my thigh. Everyone is too busy and too drunk to notice what’s happening.

Lottie and Brooks continue their banter. Laurel and Romy talk about some Bridezilla and her cake demands for an upcoming wedding at The Knotted Barn. And I’m lost, my head growing fuzzier from alcohol and lust.

I don’t want this moment to end. I want to stay here forever. Us with our friends from high school, as if the fourteen-year gap never happened. If Ben had stayed or I had gone to meet him, would we still be here? I can’t confidently answer that question.

I look at Ben when Brooks tells everyone about how Ben and I would swim to the other side of the quarry around a rock outcropping and how we weren’t fooling anyone. Ben smiles at me, and his hand slides a little farther up my leg, dangerously close to the barrier of my underwear.

Drinking was not a good idea. I’m losing my inhibitions, and there are a lot of witnesses, but I find I don’t care.

There’s another round of shots—this time from Lottie, because once she gets going, she turns into the ringleader. She and Brooks are so similar, and they don’t even realize it.

Pretty soon, the lights above me blur, and my head spins.

“Um…” I mumble and stand. “I need water.”

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