Page 46 of The One I Left Behind

Chapter Fifteen

Ben

The Noughton pig roast is in full swing now. All the families have left to bathe and put their kids to bed. On the temporary dance floor in the middle of the party, my dad is two-stepping with a redhead, and the older generation sits in chairs along the perimeter. I forgot how peaceful it is here, even in the middle of a party.

“So, friend, tell me about your time away. What’s it like being a pro football player?” Gillian draws my attention back to her.

She’s blessed me by staying at a table with just me and not seeking out Laurel or any of her other friends.

I was busy bringing a keg to the bar when Gillian walked in. I just about dropped dead when I saw her. The short white dress shows off her tanned legs, which I really want wrapped around me. I’m trying to keep my eyes on hers, but they keep drifting down her body, especially where the dress dips right between her tits.

“It’s okay.” I twirl my Solo cup, my eyes on the dance floor.

Jude pulls a reluctant Sadie onto the wooden floor, and they get in sync with my dad and the redhead. I’m not sure about those two. They’ve been friends all these years, but everyone suspects they’re more. How could Jude not have crossed that line by now? Jude isn’t nice to anyone but her.

“I can handle it, you know,” Gillian says.

I straighten but don’t look at her. It’s hard for me to tell her all that I experienced when I left her behind.

“Come on, Noughton, your dream came true.” She puts her hand on my forearm. “Tell me about it. How excited were you when you got drafted?”

I can’t hide my smile. It was one of the best things to ever happen to me. “Pretty great.”

“I saw the pictures. Your smile.” She doesn’t elaborate.

“I think my dad was more excited than me.” As much shit as my dad gives me, I never would’ve made it if not for him pushing me and telling me I was made for greatness. But with his praise came a lot of guilt.

“He brags about you all the time.”

My eyes search out Jude. He’s smiling with Sadie as she laughs at something he said. When you grow up in a ranching family, it’s kind of expected that you’ll work the ranch when you get older. My dad took it over from his dad, who took it over from my great-grandfather. I never would’ve been able to do what I did without Jude and Emmett.

“Sometimes I think it’s not real.”

“I bet you had to sacrifice a lot,” she says.

I turn to Gillian, but she’s watching the people circle the dance floor.

“Yeah, I did,” I whisper, not thinking about all the parties here that I missed or my time spent in a gym or at training. I sacrificed a future with Gillian, and standing next to her right now, as great as playing pro was, it’s hard not to regret that decision.

She must feel my eyes on her because she turns and smiles, clueless about the real meaning of my words. We’re definitely not at a place to discuss that.

“How did you like San Francisco?”

I’m not sure how much she’s traveled since I’ve been gone, but my guess is that a court stenographer doesn’t get paid a lot. And she was raising a kid by herself, plus her siblings, so likely not much.

“It took a lot of getting used to. Clemson wasn’t a huge city in itself, and even that took getting used to for me. So when I got to San Francisco, I felt pretty lost.” I remember the emotions that mixed inside of me that first year. “As a rookie, I was so paranoid about my performance. I didn’t want to get cut. And when I sat on the bench for almost the entire first year, it pulled out all these doubts about how I wasn’t good enough.”

“Then you got your shot.”

I blow out a breath, hating that she knows way more about my life than I do hers. But she only knows what everyone else does—what’s out there for public consumption. “I did. It was a rough start. I was pretty lonely before I found teammates who turned into friends. I’ll always thank Xavier Greene for making me go out with him that first time.”

If I had come back here before going to San Francisco, scooped her and Clayton up, and taken them with me, would things have been different? She was my biggest cheerleader, always believing in me.

“But then you soared.”

I nod a couple times. “Yeah, and I got a little cocky. A stage I’m not proud of.” I’m not going to get into how the fame went to my head. “I needed my dad to bring me down a few pegs. Which he did when he made a surprise visit after the news spread about my partying.”

“Good ol’ Bruce always guides his boys down the right path.”

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