Page 13 of The One I Left Behind

Chapter Five

Ben

I squint at the sun coming through one small crack in the blinds. Rolling over, I grab my phone, seeing that it’s only seven o’clock. Although everyone else is probably already up and working the ranch, my dad said I start this afternoon because he has stuff for me to do this morning. In fact, there’s a text message from him, probably giving me my marching orders.

9:00 Dr. Whitaker.

He’s got to be joking. I’m a thirty-two-year-old man. I can schedule my own dental visits, so I hammer a text back.

I’m not going to the dentist.

You are.

I’m not.

You probably have a mouthful of cavities.

I don’t.

Want to bet?

Ugh, my dad and his bets. It’s how he always gets us to do shit.

I’m too old to play your games.

I was going to offer to make my burgers and fries tonight if you were cavity-free.

You’re lying.

But since you’re not going to the dentist, thanks for saving me a trip to the store. I’ll defrost the liver.

I’m not seven.

Gotta go cancel Dr. Whitaker now.

I toss my phone on my bed, fully aware of the game my dad is playing. But I’ve been gone a long time, and now that my dad’s mentioned his juicy burgers with homemade cut fries, there’s no way liver will satisfy me tonight. He’s so aggravating.

I pick the phone back up.

I’m going. Happy?

No but you will be when you don’t lose all your teeth by the time you’re fifty.

I fling the bedspread off and sit to rest my feet on the floor. Last night, I drank a little too much with my cousins, and by the time I got to my room, all I wanted was my bed.

Now I’m taking in my childhood room that looks the same as the day I left for college. The trophies and stupid posters of expensive cars. The blank corkboard above my desk from when I came home the first time and took down every single reminder of Gillian. The memories were too painful. Not that they don’t still haunt me. The worst is that I can almost feel her in this room. The first time we had sex was on my bed when my dad was out of town buying cattle. Jude had gone with him, and Emmett was at my aunt’s.

Not wanting to remember any of that, I head out of my room and into the bathroom. The house is quiet since my dad is gone and my brothers have their own houses now.

“Hey, Milo,” I say as I pass my dad’s room.

The elderly golden retriever picks up his head for a second and lays it back down at the end of my dad’s bed. He doesn’t even go run around the ranch while my dad’s working anymore.

While the water warms up, I brush my teeth, inspecting them as if I could see if I have a cavity. Then I step into the small-ass tub shower where the showerhead is pretty much level with my head. I miss my walk-in shower out west.

The water streams down over me, and the memory of my first time with Gillian rushes back. Her fearful but trusting eyes as I slowly undressed her. We’d fooled around so much by then that it wasn’t my first time seeing her naked. I can’t help but wonder how her body would feel like now. Then my mind wanders to seeing her yesterday—her long, dark hair and a few more curves.

I soap my body, and my hand slides down to my dick, tugging it a few times. That’s all it takes. In one swift motion, I’m back on my childhood bed with Gillian riding me. Her tits bounce, and my fingers dig into her hips. Her cheeks flushed pink, her teeth biting down on her lip, and her eyes full of lust. Lust for me.

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