Page 134 of The Price of Forever

“So when will we meet next?” I asked, too afraid to ask the actual question in my heart. Are we really done?

“I have some things to set up to process the recordings and to perform general surveillance outside the house during your next event with Eli,” he said. “So…Friday?”

I nodded, the truth sinking into my bones. Everything inside my head was loud and raucous, pushing me toward the one question burning inside my chest.

“Why haven’t you called or come over to see me?” I could hear the quaver in my own voice, and I hated it. Something inside Seven crumpled at the question, which was a slight relief at least.

“You walked out,” he said. “I thought me coming over was the last thing you wanted.”

I folded my hands in my lap, rubbing at a knuckle. All I wanted from him was a fucking hug. A soft touch. A reminder of what we’d shared. “I was mad.”

“Besides, do you really think that’s a good idea right now?” Seven asked. When I didn’t answer right away, he added, “We both know where that ends up.”

“What’s wrong with it ending up there?” I sniffed, wiping at my eye. It had only been the warmest, safest, most special spot I’d ever known. I thought he’d felt the same. A tear spilled, despite my best intentions.

“Your brothers are my employers. You are my client. We are in the middle of an extremely tense and important operation.” He paused, exhaling sharply. “I don’t know what else to say. I can’t cross that line again, and I won’t.”

I nodded, his words hammering home exactly what I feared: You’re the idiot. You fell in love, and he was just having a moral lapse.

“So all that talk about ‘mine’ was just…” I started, unable to even finish my sentence. The tears were coming for real now, and I needed to leave.

“Jordan, can we please just get through this?” He sounded testy now. And I didn’t need to stick around for yet another round of humiliation and rejection.

“Yep.” I surged to my feet, snapping up the box of recording devices. “I’ll need you to send Ranger to my place when you can. Thanks.” Without another word, I spun on my heel and stormed out of the office.

That was the last time I put my heart on the line.

Because after this, there wouldn’t be any heart left.

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

SEVEN

“Oh my God, you’re working out again?” Trojan’s incredulous voice broke through my mid-afternoon workout session. Admittedly, it was a new addition to my routine.

But a week after that horrible, cringe-worthy meet-up with Jordan in my new office space, I needed some extra oomph in my routine. There was a lot I wanted to distract myself from. A lot of thoughts I needed to stop haunting me.

“I’m just keeping things interesting.” My breath came out wispy as I did sit-ups clutching a fifty-pound weight to my chest. “Trying new combinations.”

“You’re obsessed. You need to work out once a day, five days a week, like the rest of the civilized world. But what you’re doing is like, double that.” He flopped onto the couch, heaving a sigh. He’d been occupying Jordan’s old bedroom for almost a week, since his protection gig with the celebrity wrapped up. Now, he was officially on my payroll as a drop-in officer, on duty whenever Eli came into the picture, twice since he arrived in New York.

I grunted, dropping the weight and collapsing back onto the floor. I stared at the ceiling as I took a few deep breaths.

“Pretty sure you’re trying to distract yourself from how miserable you are,” Trojan went on.

“I’m not miserable.”

“You’re fucking miserable,” he affirmed. “And I know exactly why, but I’ll pretend I don’t if that’s what you want.”

I sighed, pushing up onto my elbows. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Trojan groaned. “Sure. You know, I really did think that you were being dumb by sleeping with your client, but you’re being dumber pretending this whole avoid-and-ignore approach is going to work.”

“I needed a clean break,” I reminded him. It was easier than admitting I was a breath away from losing this job, this apartment, this life because of this hole I’d personally dug. “She walked out. I took my opportunity. It needed to happen. You told me yourself.”

“Yeah, but that was before you guys became all…” He jumbled his hands around in the air in front of him. “Enmeshed. Now you’re both just moping around like sad birds.”

“Is she sad?” I asked sharply, looking back at him.