Page 22 of Love Hazard

She squirmed against my chest. “You’ll close your eyes?”

“I don’t need that kind of free show, Hazel.”

She moaned and then pulled back, taking a deep breath. “Idrank a lot of water.”

“As humans should.”

“And I just need to get rid of it.”

“So you don’t die. Yes, human nature, I encourage that.” Iwas nearly shaking from trying not to laugh at her. “Let’s walk behind thetent. I’ll hold the flashlight and look the other way, I’ll even hum for youwhile you pee. Just promise me you make it in the hole, okay?”

She nodded. “Fine, yes, thank you. Okay, I’m sorry.”

“For going to the bathroom?” I grabbed her hand and reachedfor the flashlight, not even really thinking because it felt natural to guideher to our makeshift outhouse. I didn’t have time to overanalyze too much as wegrabbed a bag, the TP, and the shovel and went to the back of the tent and ourbathroom area.

“Nice holes.” I nodded.

“Not the time,” she snapped.

I grinned and handed her a bag. “Sorry, I always feel likecompliments make people more at ease.”

Her glare said otherwise.

“Okay, then.” I guided her toward the hole, turned on myflashlight, and pointed it at her, then turned around. “Good luck.”

“Good luck?” Did she call me an idiot after that? Or was itthe wind? “I’m just going to squat like it’s a workout I hate and go.”

“Yup.”

“Good.”

“Perfect.” I stared out at the ocean. “At least, it’s loud.”

“I can’t,” she whimpered a minute later. “I can’t.”

“Can’t squat?”

“I can’t pee. It’s stuck.”

My heavy sigh probably didn’t help. “Okay, just take a deepbreath and release.”

“A deep breath and release? Release what? The Kraken? Ican’t just release.”

“Stop panicking!” I didn’t mean to yell. “Sorry. Just a fewdeep breaths, count to ten.” I shivered; it really was getting cold. “Andexhale.”

“Okay.”

“One.”

“Didn’t need you to actually do it out loud.”

“I misunderstood.”

I tried not to laugh and had to bite my bottom lip. “Okay,just count to three, then inhale, count to six, exhale, and free the water.”

“Not water,” she huffed. “I mean, it was water. It is. Sonof a bitch. Why is this so hard?”

I sighed and started mumbling, “Row, row, row your boat—”

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