Page 19 of Love Hazard

“Oh, I’m sorry, I'll use better words. The poo or pottyshovel. Grab it from the back so if you have to usethe bathroom in the middle of the night, you already have a hole dug out so youcan bury your surprise in nature.”

His grin was menacing, all straight, white teeth mocking me.

“But…” I sniffled. “I mean, I’ve camped before, but therewere always bathrooms close by. So, you’re telling me I have to pre-dig a holefor…things?”

He took a deep breath. “Yes, you need a pre-dug hole, so youaren’t digging at night. It gets really dark. It’s notlike you have to go far into the woods. I’ll put theTP by the small table I brought to set up along with the disposable bags we’llthrow away in the trash bag later. No big. What were you going to do? Just holdit and explode?”

“If I must,” I said a bit too loudly.

He held his hands up. “Everyone pees, Hazel.”

“Well, I mean, I know that.”

“So?” He shrugged. “Grab the damn shovel.”

“Yes, sir, right away, sir. Gonnajust go grab the poo shovel and put it by the food, sounds awesome.” I stompedoff and grabbed the shovel from the back of the Jeep. It was a small, blackthing, maybe two feet long, and it looked brand-new. Ihad this sudden horror that I’d been riding in the Jeep with human fecescovering metal just waiting to be looked at.

I put it near the campsite then grabbed the small table andstarted unloading the food. After I was done doing that, I found a few rocksnearby and made a campfire circle by the tent—not too close since we didn’twant to burn down the only shelter we had.

I was actually proud of myself whenI finished up. It was already getting pretty dark whenI grabbed the firewood and started setting it in the pit.

August came over by me and stareddown at my handiwork. “Are you making nature Jenga?”

“Huh?” I looked up. “I read somewhere about making acampfire where you stack it back and forth, then shove the kindling andeverything else underneath and blow.”

His smile was full-blown beautiful, reaching his eyes in away that made me look down to not feel its effects. “Well, you have the blowpart right.”

Before I realized what I was saying, I answered, “I blowjust fine, thank you.”

“Sure, you do,” he said under his breath. “I’ll grab therest of our supplies so we can start dinner. You good with hotdogs and chips?”

I nodded, even though he couldn’t fully see me. “Yeah, I’mstarving. I’ll grab the small grill from the back. Or are you wanting to cookit on one of the griddles?”

He suddenly clapped a hand over my mouth and pulled meagainst him. “Don’t move.”

Heart thudding against my chest, I waited for moreinstructions. Everyone was already in their tents or RVs, and they weren’t thatclose to our campsite. The rustling didn’t sound like a large animal, but I wasstill freaked out.

August pulled me closer against his chest and looked around.Slowly, he tugged his phone out of his pocket and turned on the flashlight,pointing it at the woods.

A small squirrel stared up at us as if we were the crazyones, but behind the squirrel, a raccoon.

“Shhhh,” August whispered in myear. “I’ll scare it away, but you can’t be too careful. A lot of them haverabies, and our trash attracts them. We’ll have to dig the bathroom closer tocamp.”

Lovely.

He got up and grabbed a stick from the firepit, then smackedit against a tree. “Hey.”

The raccoon scurried off into the woods, but the squirrelstood strong. Ah, brave little one, who would likely steal our food later. Weshould probably keep all the food in the ice chest and put it away at night inthe Jeep.

I made a mental note and looked at the shovel beside thetable. “No time better than the present.”

August turned around as I saluted him with the shovel.“Where am I digging?”

He grinned. “There.”

He pointed at a tree behind the tent. It was maybe six feetaway. “And don’t forget to bury.”

I squeezed my eyes shut. “I can’t believe our dads aremaking us do this.”

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