Page 9 of Love Hazard

“If I must, Odie.”

He dropped his arm and burst out laughing. His dimples wereon full display. “I’m the dumb dog, but aren’t you the one obsessed with carbs?Should I bring a lasagna next time?”

I loved lasagna. How dare he? “NO!” I roared. My parentswere half-Italian, but again, not the point. “Just apologize, and this weirdwar can end. I’m only here for a few months before I start work anyway.”

“Ah, work. Do you know the meaning, or is it just like thisthing you think about at night when you get spoon-fed meals by a chef and countthe money in your bank account?”

If there were any witnesses, they’d probably say that Igrowled at his response instead of in my head, but I took a deep breath andsaid, “Fine. Fine. Say what you will, but this is over. That was a low blow.And you saw my crowns before. You knew it was a thing.”

He suddenly frowned. “What? What thing?”

“Great-Grandma!” I spat.

He kept that stupid look of confusion on his face, whichleft me no choice but to grab the hose next to his foot and aim it at him.“Don’t make me.”

“Wet?” He shook his head. “Look, it was a total joke becauseyou’re a little princess. I thought you’d laugh, not attack me with water and aGarfield slipper. Come on, you gave me glitter. Tit for tat. We should beeven.”

I never understood the concept of seething, but I felt it. Ifelt it in that moment as my fingers clutched the nozzle of the hose.“Apologize.”

“Did we just go from Garfield to Venom?I’m confused.”

“Huh?”

“Apologize,” he yelled, spreading his buff arms wide as hestood by the lawnmower. The cut grass smelled so fresh that morning that Ihated him even more because I automatically felt better about life. “Apologize.You know, how like in the Venom movie, he keeps yelling because Eddiekeeps offending him and…” He stopped talking. “Not a fan of movies, or?”

“Aghhhh.” I dropped the slipper tothe ground and shoved it on. “Give me my other Garfield and I’ll leave. But know this isn’t over. You know what you did.”

He smirked, the corner of his mouth tilting up to the rightas he leaned down and grabbed the cartoon cat. Then, as if in slow motion, hewalked over to me and knelt. “Up.”

“Huh?”

“Your foot. I mean, it’s technically a slipper…” He held outone-eyed Garfield like it was a prize. “Right?”

I lifted my foot. He slowly slipped the fluffy thing on andstood.

“I’m still angry.”

He tilted his head, then with shaking fingers, reached formy chin and held it between his fingertips. For whatever reason, I didn’t pullaway. “Sometimes, we need to be angry first in order tobe happy. So, let yourself be angry. I was just kidding, but if it got thisreaction out of you where I get to see a face mask, Garfield, and whatever thehell you’re wearing, I might just do it more.”

“Don’t.”

“Will.” He nodded. “Now, go back and shower. You havemascara streaks down your face. God, did you even wash up before bed lastnight? Also, mirrors, they exist, use them.”

He was teasing, I knew it, but I was too hurt and raw to seeit. “I loathe you. Just wait.”

“Aw, princess. With bated breath.”

He turned and started the lawnmower while I stood there likean idiot. As I stomped back to the house looking like a nightmare, a smallsmile formed on my lips.

He wanted to play?

Well, games could be hazardous, and I would not be outdoneby lawnmower boy.

Let’s. Go.

Chapter Five

“When Garfield becomes your Iron Man.”—Hazel Titus