I'm torn between horror and hysterics, and all I can do is shake my head. How can he even think that when the only man I've ever been in love with is him?
"Don't fucking lie—-"
"I swear it on my parents' graves, Stelios. It's n-not that at all—-"The rage in his eyes suddenly dies out, and my words falter.
"This is because of what I am, isn't it?"
Oh God.
"You thought you could handle—-"
"Stelios, no."
I know he's going to call himself a monster, and I just can't let him do it.
"You don't need to lie."
The flatness of his tone hurts, and even though I realize letting him believe I see him as a monster is the quickest way for me to get a divorce—-
Tears burn in my eyes as I look at him in helpless appeal. "I swear, Stelios. It's not that at all—-"
My husband doesn't bother to answer this time, and I start to panic because I can already feel him distancing himself from me. Theía had also tried to keep us at a distance when she first learned of her diagnosis, and while it took everything in Papou and me to make her understand nothing in this world can keep us from loving her—-
This time it's just me and Stelios, and while I never ever want him to see himself as a monster—-
I can't tell him I'm in love with him.
I just can't.
But when I hear him tell Eddie to take us home instead, I realize that my husband is already halfway convinced I'm divorcing him because I don't think he's good enough of me—-
Oh, Stelios.
If I don't say anything now...
It will be over between us.
I'll have my divorce, but he'll also always think it's because I see him as a monster.
"Stelios?"
His lips tighten, but he doesn't even look at me, and it's getting harder to keep myself from crying.
"Stelios, please—-"
"Leave it," he says flatly. "You've more than said enough—-"
"It's because I want a baby," I blurt out.
Stelios' powerful body jerks at the words, and I can feel myself paling again.
Oh God, you're in for it now, B.
"What the fuck did you just say?" my husband asks hoarsely.
I remember the time when Stelios and I were standing outside the courtroom, and he had told me he had something to say before going in.
It was the one and only time he had told me about his 'condition', and how he would like to stay childless because of it.