Page 31 of Of War and Realms

“You have a choice to make.” Wow, that was so helpful. I wince, my eyes scrunching. I shoot it an apologetic smile.

Something it said is bothering me. “You said I was almost dead. Is that my choice? To live or die?” I feel it nod, though it still hasn’t moved.

“There’s a war coming. One I’ll most likely die in, anyway.” I laugh, the sound void of humor. “I’ve no clue how to kill the demons. I was just shot with an obsidian arrow that I assume came from Andras’s army. I’m literally leading an entire city to death. How can we kill something we know nothing of?” It stares, and I roll my eyes. “What happens if I choose death?”

“You will move on.”

“And what happens if I choose life?”

“You will move on.”

I throw my arms out, groaning. “Fuck, you are really full of answers, aren’t you?”

“Yes. All of them.” I ignore it, rubbing my lips with a finger.

This should be an easy choice—of course I want to live. They need my help. Casmir and Emrys would be broken if I left. Xamira would leave them, too.

The memory of a few minutes ago, soaking in the sun and feeling so free and happy, assaults my thoughts. I could be done. I wouldn’t have to deal with the stress, or pain, or waves of too many emotions anymore. It would be so easy to just let go.

“No. I won’t leave them. Let me go back.” I feel its relief and answering smile.

“This will hurt.” Its voices fill the room, a commanding presence that no one would ever dare question. An oozing, blacked out hand rises from its body. That is so fucking weird.

“Wait!” It pauses. “You’re the fates.” I do not phrase it as a question because I know the truth in my soul.

“Yes.” That’s the only parting word it gives before a hard force slams into my abdomen, stealing my ability to breathe. I stumble back and fall through the window, a scream dying in my throat because noise does not exist out here.

I fall and fall, losing all senses, becoming nothing but it. Just an object in the void of time. Nothing more, nothing less. Not alive, but still an idea. Memories do not form, as all of time is happening now. There is no past or future, while the present is merely a concept.

I sit up abruptly, wheezing in a strangled, shallow breath. Something catches in my throat, and I cough until I’m sure my lungs will spill out. I press my hands deeply to my chest, not missing the fresh blood that covers them.

Fuck, everything hurts so bad. I feel like my entire body was shredded and taped back together, though my abdomen is the worst.

My abdomen. The arrow.

I look down, frantically touching everywhere to find the arrow. It’s not there.

“I shouldn’t be alive. I shouldn’t be here.” My voice is barely a whisper. “It said almost...it told me to choose. It shoved me out of a fucking window. That bastard!”

“Nell?” I wince at the quick movement of my head as I look up. “What are you saying, love?” Emrys. He watches me as if I’ll disappear; he looks so worried.

Casmir is next to him, his eyes drooping heavily. His forearm is completely red.

Calix stands at the end of the table I’m on, his hand covering his mouth. His blue eyes shine red, as if he’s been crying.

To my right, Cyran watches me with a stoic expression. It seems like she’s questioning how I am here just as much as I am. Well, she’ll have to live with the confusion. I don’t think the fates would appreciate me talking about it.

I shudder, not just from the memory of its voice, but also because it is extraordinarily cold in here.

“How are you feeling?” Casmir’s soft voice caresses the panic. But the second I look at him and Emrys again, the panic comes back. So much blood. Their faces, hair, clothes, skin. Even their boots are covered in dried, crusted blood.

“Is that mine?” I croak, rubbing my throat lightly. Calix jolts out of view to bring me a glass of water a moment later. “Thank you.”

“Yes, it’s yours.” I look between my males, reality sinking into me slower than I would like. But I’m alert enough to realize something horrible just happened to them.

“How?” Cas rubs a hand down his crimson-smeared face before meeting my eyes. He and Emrys share a look before telling me everything that has occurred since the training arena.

They all saved my life, traumatizing themselves in the process. They are unsure of what spell Ivana used, but honestly, who fucking cares? The spell worked. The spell that uses magic that requires sacrifice. I sit up straighter, looking around Emrys toward the door.