Page 68 of Of Gods and Pain

No, I need to figure out how I’m going to get away from these males. I doubt they’d let me go into the city alone; actually, they probably won’t let me go much of anywhere alone until Andras’s head is displayed as the new Anlorian flag.

“Nell?” I suck in the musky air, facing the two males who are watching me pace.

“I’m good.” I smile, biting my lip, hoping this will work. My stomach rolls inside of me, and I cross my arms to keep myself straight. “Actually, I was thinking that it would be a good idea for Xamira to train. We need to figure out our next move anyway, and she hasn’t had the opportunity in decades.”

Cas shrugs, looking toward the ceiling. “I don’t see why not. No one but us lives near this part of the mountain, so she wouldn’t be interrupted by curious eyes.”

Fuck. “I don’t think there’s enough space here…” I let my voice trail off, wincing with how ridiculous this sounds. “I just mean that she’s used to wide open spaces. And she won’t be fighting on the mountain; it will be outside of the city.” All of it is true, but will it be enough to convince them to let me out of the city walls?

“No.”

“Fine.”

They speak at the same time, Emrys snapping his head to Cas with incredulity.

“Are you serious? Do you not remember what happened the last time she left the city?”

“She’ll be with us and the guard. We won’t go far, just enough for Xamira and Nell to train.”

“Absolutely fucking not. I don’t care if she’s only taking a single step outside of the wall. It’s not happening.” They glare at each other, willing the other to see their reason.

Males.

“Yeah…we can certainly have a dick measuring contest later, if that’ll appease the both of you. However, I shouldn’t have to remind you that you do not make decisions for me.” I narrow my eyes at them, heat working its way up my neck.

“I agree,” Cas nods. “If you say Xamira needs to train in the fields, then we will go.”

“No.” Emrys’s voice is sharp and final.

I pivot on my heels, raising a brow in his direction. “Stop being so insufferable.”

“Stop being a little brat,” he retorts. My jaw drops.

“Excuse you?” I don’t want to fight. He’s just worried. I force the tension out of my shoulders and relax my face. “Emrys, we’ve had this discussion already. I will go whether or not you approve of it. However, I’m choosing to tell you because I thought we were past the need to keep things from each other.” Casmir tenses, looking to his friend. Em stares blankly at me; warring with needing to agree to what I’m saying, but also needing to protect me every chance he gets.

I saunter up to him, placing a kiss on each cheek before resting my hands on his broad shoulders. He watches me, standing more still than a statue. I know this is tough for him; his every instinct tells him to shield those he cares about. But he understands that’s not always the right choice.

He lets out a deep breath, sandwiching my face between his warm hands. “I can’t say no to you, love.”

“You did a minute ago,” I whisper, and watch as his eyes roll.

“You know what I mean.” He leans forward to rest his lips on my forehead.

I’m such a fucking hypocrite.

Chapter Thirty-One

Anellah

Just pretend you need to work on some things.

Xamira snorts, though it comes out as more of a growl.

I know you don’t need to, but please. For me.

You truly believe this is a good idea? Lying to them again? Her tone is accusing, reminding me that the last time I had a good idea, I ended up in the hands of our enemy.

We’re not going over this again, Xamira. You will do as I say. I don’t want to be difficult, but I feel like there’s liquid fire trapped underneath my skin. She is our last chance at getting some answers, and I desperately need to know if she has any.

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