Page 64 of Of Gods and Pain

From her fragmented thoughts, I’ve gathered that her parents were not the worst, but also not anything to brag about. Her time in Chago is a difficult topic for her; I clench my fists, thinking about how that bastard made her suffer even when he wasn’t near her for two decades.

I won’t force her to open up, but I will do everything I can to help her move forward. Not forget…no, that will never happen. She needs to learn how to live in tandem with everything that’s happened, using it as a tool to fuel her desires in life.

I will follow behind my goddess as she heals and fills those desires; making sure I’m there to pick up the pieces of her that fall along the way, and keep them safe until she’s ready to hold them again.

Emrys

The cave has darkened significantly over the last hour, as the sun glides over the mountain. Casmir is laying at the edge of the pool, mapping the ceiling with a guarded expression on his face. I’m lounging on the steps, regretting my lapse in thought as I sat down without removing my sweats first. The bottoms are soaked and cold, which makes waiting for our bond more difficult.

I could warm the water, though I’m guessing since Nell didn’t do it herself, she wants it to be this cold. The urge to grab her and make sure she’s okay is strong, but I grip the edges of the pool and remind myself that she needs this.

Besides, I would know if she was being harmed…her emotions are thick in the air, caressing my skin with tenderness. Nell once mentioned that if we were to complete the bonding ceremony, we would feel more than just thoughts; we would be privy to each other’s emotional and physical states.

I think that was a lie. Partially.

I know that none of the other gods have ever met their soul bonds, so what they know is speculative. But we’ve all been very aware of each other’s emotions, and that cognizance only seems to get stronger with each day. So is the pull…my unrelenting need to be near them is nauseating when I’m not, and just barely tolerable when I am.

Nell hasn’t discussed our bonding since before she was…taken, and I’m nervous to ask her. I wouldn’t live if she rejected us. Even the thought of it makes me gag, causing Casmir to tilt his head back and peek at me. He returns to his silent perusal after a moment, leaving me to my muddled thoughts.

I’ll need to ask her about her plans soon. I can’t deal with the unknown for much longer.

I peer above me, my throat tightening as I’m reminded of being trapped in a cold, dark, stone room until I was requested.

“How long do you think she’ll stay down there?” Cas’s raspy voice halts the void I was sinking into. He’s blaming himself for all of this. He’s wrong, of course, but listening to me is not one of his greater qualities.

I grunt in response, and he rolls over, resting his chin on his hands as his eyes browse my form.

“Enjoying the view?” I smirk, my eyes finding the full green of his. His dark hair is rumpled from our…fun earlier. Neither of us bothered to straighten up, both only wearing sweats and heated glances at the other.

I can’t believe we fucked.

Unfortunately for him, I’m indifferent to whether he enjoyed it or not. He’s mine now.

They’re both mine, and I will fuck every single hole of theirs until there’s no doubt to any fae, or god, who they belong to.

“Yes,” the smile in his tone brings out my own. I shake my head, tilting my neck back to look away from my prince. I can feel an erection growing and don’t need that distraction right now.

Nell comes first.

In my heart, and on my tongue.

Pressure grazes my legs and my head snaps up. Ripples emerge on the water and the static in my chest surges, attempting to push me toward my bond as she ascends from the bottom of the pool. Her head breaks the surface a few moments later, and she takes a deep breath, closing her eyes and feeling her surroundings before turning to Cas and me.

She reaches the stairs and mimics Casmir’s pose, laying her chin on her hands in front of him. She gives him a smile and I automatically lean towards her, bewitched. She tilts her head, whirling that smile to me, and I can’t stop my hand as it reaches out to brush over her sleek lips.

Fuck, I want to devour them.

“Hi, princess,” Cas whispers, relieving me of embarrassment from lack of control.

“Hi, my prince.” She lifts herself, leaning forward to gently kiss his forehead; she fixes his hair a bit in a soft, almost motherly way, before turning to me and stepping forward. She grasps my face, wetting my cheeks with her chilled hands, and presses those lips against my skin. I sigh at the contact, wanting to feel more of her; but I sense she wants to talk first, so I force my hands to stay unmoving.

“I’m sorry.” Her faint words release some inner tension, her shoulders sagging slightly. “I shouldn’t have run away; I just want you both to know that I didn’t leave because I was upset with you…” I touch a finger over her soft lips, halting her confession.

“No more apologies, love.” I run my hand over her cheek, pushing through the wet strands of her thick hair and grabbing the back of her head. “I understand.” I stare intently at her cool, stormy eyes, making sure she soaks in the message of the words I don’t speak.

She nods, her bottom lip trembling; I pull her to me, holding her tightly as if to squeeze the guilt and insecurities out of her.

She leans back after a moment, looking over at Casmir as he sits next to me on the steps. He needs to be as close to her as I do.

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