Page 37 of Of Gods and Pain

As for the rest of her, she has even more bruises down her legs, along with a few cuts. Her feet are shredded at the bottom, her toenails cracked and bleeding.

I cup the air around her remarkable face; she is indescribably beautiful, even if she would smack me for thinking such a thing right now.

“Love. Love. Love.” I allow myself one minute to possess her essence.

Nothing compares to her.

I need her more than the air I breathe. I need her more than every drop of devastated blood flowing through my body.

That’s why I need to get up; she must be tended to.

Rushing to the door, I scream for Leia as loud as I can and cross the space to Xamira, checking her over. Thankfully, she has no injuries that I can see, so I’m certain she and Cas are dealing with the same fatal exhaustion. She’s breathing steadily, and her heartbeat is strong, so I think she just needs a long rest to recover.

Leia rushes into the room and squeals when she sees Nell on the floor.

“Oh, my gods. Oh my gods! Is she—?”

“She’s alive. Get the healer.” My tone isn’t kind, but I can’t care about her feelings right now. She continues to stare wide-eyed at my bond, and I have the urge to knock her head into the wall. I take a breath and remind myself that she must be in shock.

“Leia. The healer. Now, please,” I demand in a softer tone, though she still flinches and disappears without another word.

I get to Casmir and urgency takes hold in my movements again when I see the blood pooled around his quiet face. I slowly push him to his back so I can look at the injury; it’s not the worst, but I would rather him not cut his head open at all. Running around his temple onto his forehead is a decently deep gash. It began healing already, and there isn’t as much blood as I thought on the ground, so I think he will be fully healed in a few hours. I’ll have the healer check just to be sure, though.

I watch carefully as the male works through Nell and Casmir’s injuries, even taking some time to check over Xamira. Once he leaves and I’m sure nobody is going to die—at least not yet—I slump into an armchair, just needing a moment to breathe.

All three of them are laying next to each other on the large bed, oblivious to everything happening around them. Cas and Xamira look like they’re just sleeping. Nell…she looks so mistreated.

It’s a struggle to keep my emotions in as I watch her chest rise and fall. I don’t trust that she’ll be ‘back to new in no time,’ like the healer said. Her magic will come back slowly and then dissipate immediately as it heals one thing at a time. It’s going to take a while.

But I will sit right here until every last horrific bruise on her body has healed.

Chapter Seventeen

Casmir

Rise. Fall. Rise. Fall. Rise. Fall.

I’ve barely blinked, my eyes stinging with the building moisture. My head is heavy, begging me to rest and replenish my magic. I can’t.

Rise. Fall.

Her breathing is shallow, but even. Each time I look away from her chest, my heart leaps uncomfortably until I look back. It doesn’t believe she’s here, or that she’s okay. Every few minutes, I have a strong urge to touch her; I don’t want to agitate any of her injuries, so I’ve compromised to brushing a finger over her cheek. Just to feel the warmth of her skin. A needed reminder that her soul is still in there, fighting.

I’m uncertain what happened when Xamira came back…all I remember is using every speck of magic I had in me to get them both here. My head aches, and there’s dried blood in my hair, so I’m assuming I lost consciousness. I woke a while ago to everyone sleeping. It was not my finest moment of self control, as I scrambled out of bed frantically, thinking everyone was dead.

Only after I saw bandages on Nell was I able to calm down; a healer had seen her, and Em was clearly watching over us, but exhaustion overcame him, too. Xamira is still in her panther, not having moved since I woke. I stroke her thick fur, pausing to make sure I can feel her breathing, too. Nell wouldn’t forgive me if I let her sorid die. I wouldn't forgive myself.

I look at my soul bond and cringe. I knew what Andras did to her would be horrific, but I couldn’t even dream up this sight in my worst nightmares. She’s so thin and pale; the hundred bruises on her light skin make up the only color I see. Her arm and knee are wrapped in thick cloth, while the many other cuts have a green paste on them—a blend the healer uses to prevent infections. I know the humans have hospitals, and healers, with technology we don’t possess here; but it’s almost never necessary. Fae do not get sick—well, most fae do not get sick. And any injuries we sustain heal quickly.

But right now? I wish none of that were true, just so we could have a hospital here. Someone who could heal her faster. Seeing her like this…I rub my palms over my eyes, chasing away the new moisture.

The fact that her magic hasn’t done more already concerns me. Just how close was Andras in taking it all from her? Every drop, until her body gave up, not able to live without its source. If only I figured out a way to save her, maybe this wouldn’t have happened.

I know that’s not true.

I’ll have to tell her, eventually. Watch her love for me turn to hate as she realizes I’m the reason she was taken. I’m selfish enough to push that moment off, though.

A soft noise causes my eyes to snap up at Emrys, who’s adjusting in the chair. That cannot be comfortable. I should move him; I will stay awake until I’m sure Nell will not die. The room shifts slightly when I stand, and I grab the bed frame to hold myself steady.

---