Page 34 of Of Gods and Pain

My mouth is bone dry, my muscles are so tense I could probably snap them in half, and there’s a fluttering weight in my stomach threatening to push bile up my throat. I attempt to breathe deeply and slowly, needing all of my focus. I can panic later.

I finally make it to the end of the hallway. Looking down at each of the two new options, I spot a door at the end of one and catch a scream in my mouth as I hurry towards it. I’m nearly halfway there when a door opens next to the one I need, and voices fill the space between me and freedom.

Fuck! There are no other doors, or alcoves, here…I would definitely be caught if I ran back to the other hallway, and I couldn’t make it to the outer door before whoever that is saw me.

I didn’t want to do this unless I absolutely needed to, but I guess now seems like a great time. I reach for the strengthening light inside of me and call on my essence to shield me from all eyes. There’s so little there that I’m not sure it’s going to work, but I feel it wrap around me just as Andras and Bren step out of the room ahead.

My eyes widen, but I force all the anxiety-ridden sensations down and walk slowly towards the door behind them. I should move faster, because I’m not sure how long my magic will last, but I don’t think I could hold it if I lose my concentration.

I’m forced to stop when the two males pause in the middle of the narrow hall, and Imogen walks up beside them, taking the rest of the space I had to sneak past. I press myself against the wall and focus on not failing this; my legs shake so badly I’m afraid I’ll fall and end my journey right here. How fucking stupid would that be? Being killed from panicking too much.

“I must go now. I have things that need tending.” Andras’s annoyed voice pricks my ears. Me. I’m the thing that needs tending.

“Of course, Your Highness, just one more question. This decision must be made if I’m to leave for the camp at once.” Bren’s tone makes me open my eyes, and I see the sweat dripping down his neck. Red blotches plastered over his skin. He’s nervous…why?

Andras sighs deeply, rolling his eyes. “Imogen, go check on her. I’ll be down in a moment.” He turns his attention back to my friend, and they talk about training schedules for the army.

I take the opportunity to slide my way down the wall, moving quietly past them as they continue their conversation. I silently pray to the other gods that they allow my magic to hold me just a little while longer. I’m so close to the door I can taste the sweet, delicious air.

“My prince!” I freeze at the horrific screech that comes down the space. Andras runs towards Imogen’s frantic voice, leaving Bren standing alone. “She’s gone! My prince, she’s gone!”

Oh, fuck.

I need to move. Now. Foregoing my careful steps, I hurry toward the door.

“Search the castle, send the guard to me.” I hear my deranged captor instruct the witch. I’m nearly to the door when a loud booming causes me to jump feet into the air. “YOU!”

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! He saw me.

I peer over my shoulder to see that the gods are with me today. Andras is striding towards Bren, not me, with a glare that could kill.

I’m sorry, Bren. I wish I could take you with me. I’ll come back for you. All of you.

I know he can’t hear me, but I send the words to him, anyway. I will be back for all of them; I will save them. I run the last bit to the door, reaching my hand out to open it. I hesitate, knowing this is definitely the moment I’m caught. Andras is right there and will surely see the door opening by itself.

“You did this! You distracted me purposefully!” What?

I spin around, watching as Bren straightens his spine. He raises his chin to Andras, looking him directly in those stormy eyes. “I did what needed to be done.”

The prince nods his head as a disappointed look crosses his face. Before I see what’s happening, he grabs one of his daggers and throws his arm out, slicing it across Bren’s throat. My hands slap over my mouth, trying to cover the gagging and hold back the vomit working its way up.

Bren’s eyes find mine as he falls to the ground with a hard thud; his blood looks like a waterfall cascading down to the marble, coating the colorless floor in warm crimson.

Andras whips his head around to where Bren is looking, his eyes widening when he sees me standing here. Oh gods, I’m visible.

As much as I want to save Bren, I wouldn’t be able to. With one last glance at his lifeless body, I turn and sprint through the door, running as fast as I possibly can with all of my injuries and weak muscles. I hear Andras yelling, instructing others on where to go and what to do, but I don’t pay him any attention. My chances of getting out of here are growing smaller by the second, and I need to put distance between us.

I make it through the gates easily as all the soldiers must have been ordered into the castle when Imogen found me missing. I’m moving faster than I think I ever have; heat is coursing through every crevice of my body, pushing me further than it’s willing to go. I can feel it trying to give up on me, but my will is stronger.

I reach the buildings in the heart of Ceross, just as yelling sounds behind me from the soldiers. I think they’re telling the city fae to stop me; which must be a good thing, because that means they think they won’t reach me.

Every head along the main road swings my way, but I don’t have time to wonder if one of them will grab me. This is the only path I can take. So I press my aching, bloody feet harder into the ground and push my muscles to the point of failure.

To my absolute surprise, the fae in the street step aside as I make it to them, creating a direct path from me to the forest. I don’t have time to stop and thank them, so I vow to save each of them from the demon chasing after me.

“MOVE!” Andras bellows. I look over my shoulder and see that those who created space for me to run through have now huddled together, blocking the prince and his soldiers from getting further. The front line manages to push through, and they chase me again.

It feels like I’m getting nowhere. Like the path in front of me is unchanging, and I’m running in place. My head swims, the pain in my body taking over all of my senses. I don’t let it stop me.

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