Page 19 of Of Gods and Pain

“—not listening.” I jolt at Andras’s angered tone, focusing on his words. He notices my attention and smirks. “I said ‘you’re clearly not listening.’ What do you say we try something new today, my sweet?”

I nearly roll my eyes; there’s nothing he could try that he hasn’t already done to me at this point.

“I know what you’re thinking…what could I possibly do differently?” A wicked smile spreads across his face, his blue eyes squeezing their way into the depth of fear I keep hidden from him. “I remembered how you enjoy pain with your pleasure and thought we could see just how much pain it would take to change your mind.” He pulls something shiny out of his pocket, holding it in the dim lighting.

My dagger.

The one my father gifted me before I traveled to Earth; the hilt is woven with intricate designs, portraying the symbol of each god. I haven’t seen that dagger in decades…he kept it this whole time?

“I hoped that using your blade would make you more comfortable, since it was made to fit you, after all.” He watches for my reaction, but I have none. I still cannot piece together what he’s talking about.

Before I have the chance to think about it further, my legs spread, giving him and Bren a clear view of my pussy.

No, no, no. Please don’t be doing what I think you’re about to do.

“Ah, you get it now! I was worried for a moment we were losing your sharp mind…but alas, you’re still you!”

He steps in between my legs and runs the hilt of my dagger over my folds, pressing harder when he reaches my clit. I don’t feel it, though. Instead, I’m trembling; pure nausea runs through my veins while needles prick my shoulders and neck.

“So responsive, sweet Nell.” I snap back into focus at the words and feel the wetness that’s gathered against his movements.

Traitorous fucking body.

“Now, let’s see just how much this sweet cunt can take.” I hear the hitch of a breath and look over to Bren, who is fighting hard to not move or say something. He knows it would just make it worse for the both of us.

The rounded end of the blade enters me in a hard thrust and I gasp, attempting to keep my shaking under control. The smoothed edges of the stone and steel aren’t the worst things ever, though the cold of them feels like a dry burn working its way into me. He works the object in and out, tilting it at the angle he knows will please my body. It will never please me, though, and that pisses him off more than anything.

“Tell me what I want to hear, Nell, and this all stops right now. I won’t go any further or harm you ever again.” His eyes plead with mine, and bile rises in my throat. It’s actually insane how delusional he is.

“Fuck. You.” I spit the words at him, glaring with every bit of rage I can muster. He frowns, appearing as if he truly thought my answer would be different this time.

“I’m sorry to hear that, sweet.” He sighs deeply, driving into me faster. “Just know that what happens next is your choice. I don’t want to do this.”

Breathe, Nell. You have to take it.

I’m shivering so badly that even the numbness won’t join me today. I’m alone on this one. He rubs my clit with one hand while continuing to fuck me with the other. Strangled moans unwillingly leave me as heat builds in my abdomen. He watches me intensely, soaking up every reaction I’m unable to hide in this moment. Pressure increases at the base of my spine, and I clench my eyes shut as an orgasm shutters through my body.

I’m attempting to hold the sounds back when an extraordinarily sharp, soul-shredding pain enters my contracting walls. A scream rips from me and I try with everything that I have to close my legs or back away from the pain, but I can’t move. The pain pulls out of me, and I look down to see what I was afraid of: a bloody blade. Andras is watching me with sorrow, like this hurts him just as much as it does me. He wants a reaction? He’s got one.

“I’m going to tear you apart piece by piece and feed you to Xamira,” I growl, my voice weak and shaking. “I will drag you to Europa with me, by the skin of your eyes, and hang you up for display in Anclona by the tip of your cock. You will be kept barely alive; just enough to be aware of the vile things I will personally do to you each day, but not enough to do anything about it.” He’s smirking at me now; I’ve given him exactly what he was looking for. “And when I’ve grown bored with your pathetic life? You will make a nice meal for the unbonded sorids.” His face pales slightly at that, but he wipes it away quickly and begins his torture again without replying.

The blade enters me roughly and deeply. I can feel it slice into my cervix, and black dots take over my vision as he twists the blade before pressing it hard to my abdominal walls and yanking it out. A loud, slapping noise joins my agony. It takes me a moment to realize it’s my blood streaming out of the cuts he made, draining onto the floor.

I chuckle; the last time I was at a waterfall, I experienced some of the greatest pleasure of my life with my two soul bonds. And now? The waterfall is me…my suffering. If I didn’t know the other gods myself, I would think they’re playing a cruel joke on me for getting too close to my bonds.

My abdominal muscles tighten, and my teeth grit when Andras reaches a hand inside the newly renovated hole at my center. My breathing is erratic and strained; it’s very hard to focus on getting enough oxygen when there’s about to be no blood left for it to matter.

Is this it? Is this the point when he finally lets me die?

I try to beg for it to be true, but words fail as my voice cracks, sounding more like a growl than anything.

Andras sighs deeply, inspecting his creation like it’s his best work yet. “I suppose you’re right,” his calm, contented voice causes me to shiver. Or is that because I’m almost bloodless? I can’t tell.

I'm so cold. The room is spinning in different directions. I can feel sounds graze my skin and hear the shadows whispering to me. They tell me there’s more I need to do, that it’s not my time just yet.

Fuck that.

Let. Me. Go.

---