Page 10 of Of Gods and Pain

Honestly, I'm not sure why he doesn’t just kill me now. The rest of the gods would feel my magic, the strings weaving through my soul, holding it together. They would see it cross the barrier between realms and know that something happened to me, forcing them to come here for answers. Surely he must know that? So why does he insist on keeping me alive? He could have had his revenge years ago.

But maybe he doesn’t know that…so that’s why he’s convinced he needs to wait the thirty years.

Footsteps stop outside the door, altering me to my monster’s presence. He strides through into the room, confidence evident in his demeanor. He stops next to me, smiling. I used to think he was handsome; his sandy hair, blue eyes that would be easy to swim in, and a smile so charming it has me questioning my reality sometimes.

He is different today, though. He looks happy, which would normally scare me, but he’s wearing a suit. I’ve only seen him wear a suit one other time: the solstice ball.

“My sweet, Nell,” he purrs in a tone that I’m sure he thinks is endearing. “I have a surprise for you today.”

I watch him as he lowers his arms to either side of mine, his face hovering above me, and hot breath coating my damp skin. “A party.”

He sees the question in my eyes, but instead of answering, he lowers himself to place his lips just above the hollow of my chest. He moves the sheet down to kiss his way over my breasts, my body betraying me yet again as my nipples harden to the touch. I feel his smile when he notices.

Andras hums to himself in appreciation and starts sucking the light out of me with each touch. The stop and go of his actions makes me nauseous. When he’s finished violating me, leaving the memory of his unwanted touch all along my skin, I notice that I’m breathing heavily. His gaze heats as he thinks it’s me yearning for him. He will never understand that it’s actually the opposite.

His deep, contented sigh fills the room, and he stretches his neck as his gaze trails over each place his lips just did.

“Mm, as much as I want to touch you, time for play will have to be later, my sweet.” My body heaves up, standing from the bed. The silky white sheet slips down my skin, leaving me fully exposed. I’ve never wanted to cover my body more than when I’m near him. I’m so disappointed that I let him fuck me in the garden a few months ago. It’s one thing for him to take what he wants from me, but something completely different that I gave myself to him willingly.

And liked it.

Andras waves his hand and Bren steps into the room, holding a bright white gown. What the fuck does he have planned?

“Get dressed quickly. We have a party to appear at,” Andras says, his icy eyes finding mine. I’m suddenly in motion, grabbing the dress from Bren. Now I understand why I was allowed to shower yesterday. He wanted me looking nice for whatever this is.

I pull on the dress, turning toward the back wall to give the false god access to the ties. The light brush of his fingers has me internally cringing; if I didn’t know any better, I would think there were snakes inching their way up my shoulders, ready to bite down on the last bit of feeling I have left.

I can’t tilt my chin downward to look, but from what I can see, the dress is long, with a small train at the back that’s currently wrapped around my feet. The silky material melts over my skin, fitting every part of my form with thin straps at the top. It feels like there’s not a single part of my body not on display, with the way the fabric is clinging. I’m beginning to sweat, so I know it will just sink into my skin even more.

I unwillingly turn and grab onto Andras’s thick arm. He leads me toward the main part of the castle while Bren follows behind us. Just outside a set of large, white doors, Andras stops and turns to me with a wicked gleam in his eyes. He pulls a blood red collar from inside his jacket, and it takes everything in me to not show my disgust. After wrapping it around my neck and securing it, he grabs a thin, red chain from his other pocket, attaching it to the front of the collar.

He doesn’t speak, though he doesn’t need to. I understand his message perfectly.

I’m the goddess who is the pet of the prince.

He turns towards the doors—which open with his attention—and pulls on the chain to drag me along as he walks through. My breathing hitches when we stride into the ballroom; which is now a throne room, it appears. There are so many fae in here, but the only sound meeting my ears is my racing blood.

Andras leads me through the crowd, which is parted down the middle. Is the entire city here? No one looks our way, or makes a noise, as the three of us stalk through the impossibly large room. It seems massive compared to how it looked during the ball.

My abuser turns before ascending the steps to his throne; his yank of my chain forces me to stumble forward into his waiting arms. He could have just made me walk forward, but this is clearly some kind of show.

His sharp breath grazes the front of my ear as he whispers, “You will stand right here until I decide otherwise. You will not make a sound unless you wish to be punished instead of rewarded.” He kisses my temple more gently than I ever thought possible for him.

My heart drops through the floor as I’m suddenly holding my own body up. Nothing feels foreign inside of me right now; there’s no magic holding any part of me hostage.

I have to run.

My fingers twitch, and it takes an impossible amount of effort to stop myself from bolting to the nearest door. I need to be smart about this. So I hold myself completely still against every screaming nerve in my body begging me to move. Andras is probably watching me closely right now. This is the first time he has ever let me have control of my own movements. He must be doing something big.

I pause.

Maybe he is doing something big? My eyes dart around the room; there are soldiers posted at each exit, and the rest of the fae are in perfect alignment, unmoving. Is he using my fucking magic on them? Sure he has enough, but how long would it last him? Is that why he brought me here? So he could watch me while I’m uncontrollable?

At once, every fae in this darkened room lets out a relieved breath. Including the staff. He was holding them.

“My subjects,” his grating voice echoes throughout the space. “Thank you for joining me today. It is a special day!” He tells his story to the sizeable crowd, who all share increasingly horrified expressions as Andras explains his intentions and reveals who I am.

“You see, like my sweet Anellah, each of you is an important part of my plan. When the time comes, I will require your unwavering loyalty!” He descends the steps to stand next to me, as if we’re equals. The urge to spit in his face and find a way out of this mess unyielding, though his sick mind would probably consider that foreplay. I grit my teeth and clench my fists, holding myself still as I watch for the right moment.

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