Page 55 of Of Gods and Pain

“Fuck, princess.” I pull her against me, the tip of my dick teasing her entrance, begging to slide in her warmth. “You will come on my cock; then I’ll fill your pussy with my cum, since I sucked Em’s out of you. We can’t have you feeling empty, can we?”

Her eyes roll, and she shivers at my words. “No. Give it to me.” She rolls her hips, sliding her heat over me, and I can’t wait any longer. I thrust fully inside her, capturing her mouth and swallowing the guttural moan that leaves her. Pausing, I let us both take in the transcending feeling of being connected like this.

She wiggles and I laugh, hearing her every unspoken word. I fuck her like a male starved. Grabbing one of her legs, I lift it over my hip, angling myself deeper in a way that allows me to hit the spot that I know will make her completely lose herself.

“Oh. My. Gods!” she yells, burying her face in my chest, holding onto me like I’m her lifeline.

Lingering moans leave her as her legs shake. I know she’s close, so I fuck her harder, the sound of slapping skin piercing every bit of silent shadows in the room. I use my free hand to hold her head back, giving me access to her sweat-slicked neck. Rolling my hips, I make sure to grind against her clit with every thrust, sending her into a mess of words and sounds as she comes. Her pussy tightens so hard around me that my orgasm crashes into my every sense, taking over my motions.

As we both come down, I continue thrusting slowly, languidly. She shudders with her forehead pressed to the part of my chest that calls so deeply to her. I rest my cheek on top of her head, holding her for a long time.

When my eyes open, I see the corner of a letter peeking out from under my stack of papers.

I tense when I realize what letter it is. The one that warned of Andras’s presence near GodsPass. The one I should’ve told her about before she left. The one that proves my entire fault in her being taken.

I need to tell her…but not right now. I can’t ruin this perfect moment between us. She’ll hate me as soon as she finds out, but I can’t think about that…

I’m selfish enough to keep it a secret for a little while longer.

So I just hold her and tell myself I’ll find the courage to share this with her soon.

Soon.

Chapter Twenty-Six

Anellah

Bitter calm eats away at the over-stimulation I can’t seem to get rid of. The last week I’ve felt like my skin was dissolving in on itself, while my soul was using every bit of strength to crawl away from the inevitable.

I have so many conflicting emotions…I desperately long to be with Cas and Em; for them to touch me until they’ve wiped away the vivid memories that haunt my dreams at night. But the thought of them touching me like that is revolting. I haven’t let them even sleep in my bed since I fucked them last week, and I feel horrible about it.

I know they’ll continue to respect my wishes, because that’s just the caring, protective males they are. But I also sense their struggle with that.

Xamira hasn’t left my side in days. She insists that if I won’t let the males be constantly near me, then I must let her. She calls it a compromise…stubborn sorid. Truthfully, I’m thankful for her persistence. I felt so much lighter when I finally let Cas and Em in; allowed myself to be near them. I’m sure that if I isolated myself again, I would’ve continued making poor decisions.

But now? I’m trying. I’m really trying. I keep a kind of schedule each day: training, eating, training, resting. It’s not much, but it keeps my muscles occupied and forces my brain to focus on things other than my past. Also, it’s helping me get my strength back. I can’t describe how fucking good it feels to not be so weak and miserable.

I don’t completely feel like myself again…but I’m starting to. My body and I came to an agreement, and we're working together to fix our relationship. I want to feel like something other than a ghost stuck in a flesh suit; and my body wants to feel like something other than a used piece of flesh. It’s been a fickle attempt on both ends, but we’re trying.

I also want to be prepared for when Andras inevitably attacks. I certainly will not attempt going back to Europa to warn the other gods, so we’re on our own. Against him, the witch, his army—which now includes his entire city—and those fucking demons.

I mentioned the new realm to my males, though deliberately left out the concerning bits. I didn’t want to worry anyone, but I’m having absolutely no luck scouring the library myself. The place is enormous.

I’d ask Ender—the librarian—for help, but I’m not convinced the male exists. I’ve yet to see him, though Casmir insists he’s there.

But, before I get everyone helping with the search, I think it’s more important to train them in the art of the gods. Sure, everyone here knows how to fight, but only by fae standards. It was very clear Andras has been training his people in the more advanced fighting style; so even if demons weren’t part of the equation, our army would struggle to win just because they’re not well-versed in that style.

I have to start small, though. I can’t train thousands of fae myself in time, so I’m starting with the prince, captain, and castle guard. They’ll help when we meet with the army camps.

“—and I’d also like to show you how to use your body and magic congruently. They should work together; complement one another, instead of only being used one at a time.” Heady laughter fills the room. All of us turn to look at Sambril, who’s doubled over, vibrating with sounds no one has ever heard from him.

This should be good.

He straightens, his amused gaze meeting mine. “You think you can teach us anything? You?” Emrys opens his mouth, probably to order Sam to back down, but I hold up a hand to halt his defense.

Surprising males who underestimate me is a favorite hobby of mine.

“Yes, me. Who else?” I say calmly.

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