Page 14 of Of Gods and Pain

I moan into Cas, wrapping my hands around his neck and pressing him harder into me. I suck on his tongue, taking in his sweet taste and jasmine scent. It’s intoxicating. I back off to take a breath and grab Em, yanking him into my body with my grip on his waist. I feel his bulge growing and sigh into him as he grinds the length over my abdomen. I need him lower, just a little.

I jump to wrap my legs around his hips, and he sucks on my neck while I rock my center on him, both of us groaning loudly at the friction. He holds me tighter, as if letting me go is his worst nightmare, as if my touch is the only thing keeping him alive. Fuck, I love him so much.

I need Casmir. I need them both.

Before I can reach behind me to grab him, Emrys pulls himself out of his loose pants and thrusts his entire cock into me. I scream from the burn. It’s been too long; why have we waited this long? Cas presses into my back, and my arousal grows at the thought of them both inside me. I bury my face in Em’s neck, inhuman noises leaving me as he fucks me with abandon. A deep breath enters me, needing his scent to coat my lungs. But instead of leather, I smell something floral.

Roses.

Since when does he smell like roses?

“Fuck, Nell,” Andras’s strained voice has me shooting my eyes open and involuntarily tensing. I'm pinned against the wall while he thrusts deeply; I can’t believe I let it get this far. Am I that out of it? I need to get out of here before I completely lose myself.

The prince surprisingly notices my lack of participation and stops moving, meeting my gaze. “What’s wrong?” I hope my apprehension isn’t showing through; I almost fucked it up already. Literally.

“I’m sorry,” I force a little embarrassed laugh. “I’m just weak and feeling dizzy from the bouncing. But,” I lift myself off of him, setting my feet on the ground, “I wouldn’t dare leave my prince wanting.” I grab his hips and turn us to press him into the wall; I slowly fall to my knees, holding his eyes while my hands drag roughly over his taut abdominal muscles, landing on his cock.

He moves to say something, but I’m desperate to make him lose control. So I can take mine back. Still watching him, I drag my tongue from his base to the tip and wrap my lips around the sensitive head.

At least it tastes like me instead of him.

I waste no time flattening my tongue and taking him to the back of my throat, holding in my gag. I breathe through my nose and swallow him back further, allowing my nose to press against his pelvis.

“You feel so good, my sweet,” he groans loudly, and I know I have him right where I need him.

I continue to suck deeply, being very attentive to which motions make him close his eyes in pleasure. Once I have a good rhythm going, I look around for anything that could help me right now. I’m not stupid enough to think I’ll outrun—or outfight—him. I need help. My eyes snag on a dagger he has sheathed on his outer thigh.

Yes. Fuck yes.

I look up at him, making sure he’s not paying attention and don’t allow myself to give it any more thought before I swipe the dagger, tug on his cock with my other hand, and plunge the blade right through the center of the shaft. He screams, but I don’t give him the opportunity to lash out as I drive my elbow into his nose as hard as I can, knocking him out. He falls heavily to the floor, landing on this stomach, and I wince at the kind of damage the dagger caused from that angle.

I’ll live with not knowing, though. I need to leave.

I grab the dagger on his other thigh and run out of his rooms, pulling my dress back down. I quickly move through the hall and listen for any movement. I’ve never been so thankful for the lack of staff here, as there’s almost never anyone to run into. I quickly realize that I’ve never been to Andras’s rooms. Or this part of the castle, it seems. I don’t know where to go.

Every fucking hallway here looks the same. It’s all white. There’s no identifying markers I can see.

Think, Nell. What direction did we go from the throne room to here? I turn left, cursing my muddled brain and hoping I’m choosing the correct way. Running as fast as I dare, I spend what feels like hours navigating this colorless, lifeless maze before I finally see the stairs by the entrance.

“Oh gods, thank you.” I barely get the words out, sprinting down the steps while trying not to let my bare feet slip on the stone. I race for the doors, gripping the handle and yanking it open. I try to feel for any of my bonds, but I don’t have enough magic to call for them yet. I’ll need to hide and wait until I can speak to them.

I lift my foot to sprint through the courtyard when a large hand shoves the door closed, taking me with it as I’m still gripping the handle, and my face slams into the wood.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, please, no!

I swing my arm to catch whoever it is off guard, but it doesn’t. I’m too slow. I’m spun and slammed into the door, letting out a cry of pain at the force. My arms are crossed over my chest, and I open my eyes to see I’m being held by…

“Bren?” What’s going on? “Bren, please let me go!”?? His hands shake, and he looks to be in much more pain than I am.

“I’m. Trying.” He spits out. His shaking increases, and I realize he won’t be able to release me. He’s been instructed to keep me here. “I’m so—” he growls loudly, attempting to pull himself back, but it’s like he’s also being held by something much stronger than him.

Well, someone.

“I’m sorry. Nell.”

I can’t help it. I slump against the door and burst into tears. I can’t fight him, and even if I had the strength to, I couldn’t ever hurt him to save myself. He’s my friend. He’s done so much for me. So I stop struggling, which allows him to ease his tension. His breathing is pounding against the devastation sweeping between us.

I look into his eyes, making sure he sees my understanding. This isn’t his fault; I can’t blame him. “It’s okay.” I let the breath of my words escape my closing throat in an attempt to help him not feel so guilty.

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