Page 129 of Wreck Me

“What does that mean?”

“You’re currently embroiled in a phase of transition. Forced change would be more apt. You’re caught between who you really are and who you believe you need to be in order to remain at peace with yourself and external influences.”

“You’re talking about Onyx?”

“I’m referring to all of it. Bastian and Caleb are drawn to the real you and I’m sure they bring it out in you too, knowing them as well as I do and how they operate. That ferocity, the unapologetic and forthright young woman, the passion, the edginess, that darkness and delectable savagery. Yet, you’re still on the fence.”

“You… you don’t know that.”

“Then why are you still at Luxe?”

“I—”

“Why haven’t you resumed your activities as Onyx? You’ve shown a penchant for it, as well as a need to still have that in your life, through you continuing to venture out to the fight club.”

She shoved a hand through her visually-appealing vibrant-blue and silver hair. “If what happened earlier showed me anything, it was that I can’t be half-assed about all of that. I was too concerned with Caleb’s teachings of how to keep it under control that it impacted my focus. I should’ve seen that punch coming, but I let shock and emotion in, when if I hadn’t put those blocks in place, those emotions would have been locked down for the duration of the fight. I did manage to find a balance in the tail end of the fight, where I was in control of both the battle and that savage thing that usually tries to take me over.”

“And?”

The corner of her mouth turned up. “It was exhilarating.”

There it was. Excellent.

I reached out and cupped her cheek.

She stilled for a second, but didn’t move away.

I stroked my thumb over her jawline, loving that she relaxed almost immediately at my touch and soft brushes. “You’re not happy, are you, love?”

“I…”

“You forged a new life for yourself built on lies, built on things you don’t believe in. It was created out of fear, one of the worst things to create a life from. Rage being a close second. Your only reprieve is your time with Bastian and Caleb, because you don’t have to pretend with them and you also don’t have to fear the darker part of you being judged or reviled. They welcome that savagery and brutality and meet it with their own. You’ve already shown that you can’t stay on track with this normalcy you’ve tried to entertain, proof being the fight club antics, your sexual relationship with my boys, and you returning to your sketching and the creative pursuits that come along with that. So, let’s use tonight as the final nail in the coffin of this pretense.”

She pulled away, then snapped, “What exactly do you want from me? Except to critique the way I’ve been living my life.”

Her harsh reaction was a good sign, I’d gotten to her, and given her something to think about.

“I want many things from you. The first and foremost is to ensure you’re not detrimental to Bastian and Caleb. Your current state of being on the fence and weak in your convictions is concerning in that area.”

“Weak?” she seethed.

Of course that was the only thing that she’d heard.

“Do you dispute that?”

“Of course I fucking do.”

I smiled to myself. She was coming out of it now, that babe in the woods disposition she’d brought with her the moment I’d escorted her from that ring. Coming back to herself.

“Then prove it to me.”

She shot to her feet, looming over me, her groin level with my face. She faltered for a moment as she realized the interesting position she’d just put herself in.

I tipped my head back and smirked up at her. “Well, then? I’m waiting.”

She glared down at me. “If this is the way you intend to bring me into your fold, it’s doing the opposite.”

“I beg to differ, love.”

---