Page 125 of Wreck Me

While there was no doubt in my mind that Caspian King would do everything and anything in his power to protect Caleb and me, there’d been a degree of separation there when it had come to the fact that it had been Sky in the immediate danger, not us. Sure, he knew I cared for her at this point and I was sure Cal had told him about his growing sentiment and fondness toward her as well, but she wasn’t one of us. Not officially and definitely not from Caspian’s perspective, in his mind.

And even then, him coming down there personally and so suddenly with no time to prep or strategize, or to put measures in place to minimize the fallout of the King of the City headed down to that notorious location in the furthest thing from covertly, was definitely outside his usual protocol.

He could’ve sent his guys.

Hell, he could’ve sent Luke. If that ghost-like figure hadn’t already been there already.

So, as much as I didn’t like to think that Cas would use his very skilled use of manipulation and calculation anywhere near Cal and me, the events of tonight did actually raise that possibility.

It had me wondering whether he’d actually used this fucked-up night as an opportunity in his bigger strategy, that he’d used it to play the savior to Sky, to frame himself that way, to gain her trust without having to go the long way around where that was concerned, and possibly even to make it so that she owed him a favor.

Fuck. I hoped I was just being paranoid, especially when it came to that last part, because owing Caspian King a favor absolutely was not a good position to be in.

I checked my surroundings, then ducked inside his office

My blood was roaring in my eyes as I found myself making a beeline for his desk.

His immaculate desk. He’d at least locked his laptop and papers away before he’d left then.

But there was one thing he never locked away. At least not in his desk. It was only locked via the door of the office itself.

Don’t. Don’t do it.

I rounded the desk and reached for the bottom drawer.

My hands were shaking, all the more violently than with the rage alone.

Now, there was even more than that.

The promise of relief.

Of numbness.

Escape from reality.

Escape from pain.

Things were different now.

I was different now.

It wouldn’t be the big deal that others might view it as.

I could handle it this time.

It didn’t really need to be all or nothing when it came to this. I’d just been unnecessarily strict about it.

I could control it.

I just needed it to calm down.

Just this once.

I hesitated.

Just to take the edge off. That’s all it is. You need it, you can’t go back in there in this state, and you know it.

I reached for the drawer and it was unlocked as usual, just like I’d anticipated.

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