Page 190 of Wreck Me

“I’m sorry too.”

I couldn’t believe it.

Something positive had actually come out of this nightmare.

And I needed to soak up every moment of it.

Not just connecting with my mom for the first time in so long, which was a big enough deal in itself, but the comfort of it.

Because with the mission ahead of me, I had no doubt that things were about to get a lot worse before they got better.

I’d have to lose myself to the dark.

31

~Sebastian~

I should’ve done this days ago.

That hadn’t been possible, though, not with Cas and Cal breathing down my neck and keeping a close eye on me.

Cal had even gone so far as to search my room and every fucking thing after he’d found out about my slipup. He’d found the fucking pills and gotten rid of them.

A big fucking mistake that had been, because instead of me being able to calm and soothe myself, there was just this rage and pain escalating out of control, not giving me a second of reprieve, not one moment to get a handle on everything.

I’d had to fake it like I used to and get back to attending classes at Luxe, Caspian’s guys flanking me in and out of the gates to get me through the paparazzi who were following me everywhere right now, asking this and that, mostly about Sky. So much about her.

Not that I’d tell them a goddamn thing where my personal business was concerned, but I couldn’t even if I wanted to, because I didn’t fucking know.

She was still secluded inside her home and barely communicating with the three of us.

At first she’d responded and been reassuring us that she was fine, that she just needed time. But then after I’d felt the bullshit coming through from that and challenged her by sending that text and making it damn clear that she couldn’t just walk away, it had been radio silence.

Sky responded viciously to anything even resembling a threat or an infringement upon her free will, so I’d expected it to ignite that passion in her, and for her to respond back and fight me, anything to get a real response out of her.

But it hadn’t worked like that at all.

It made it so much worse.

Apathy was a bitch to take compared to her hate.

Was that where she was at now? Apathetic toward me, toward us? Was that what she’d used this space of hers to do—to numb herself to us?

Hell, maybe she’d been on her way to doing that anyway and this sex tape fiasco had just been the excuse she’d been waiting on. Cal was right about her not doing well with big feelings. Things had been a whirlwind with all four of us, so there hadn’t been much time to analyze it, but now that things were in this frozen state, maybe that was what she’d been doing, and it had gone a bad way where this relationship between us was concerned on her end.

Fuck!

I’d opened myself up to her.

For her.

I’d risked so much.

She didn’t even know just how much.

When I’d come close to that first slipup, I should’ve shut down. That would’ve stopped it.

But I hadn’t. Because of her. Because of not wanting to lose her.

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