Page 61 of Damaged

“No, Jace told me,” I cut in. Ronan nodded briefly but thankfully didn’t keep me in suspense.

“Two of the three pieces of shrapnel have shifted. They’re now pressing directly against the nerves in his back. It’s the reason the pain has gotten so much worse in the last couple of years. That’s about the same time that he began drinking and taking more pills than what had been prescribed,” Ronan explained.

“Wha… what does it feel like?” I stammered. “The metal against his nerves?”

“Like razor blades slicing up and down his spine every time he moves.”

I didn’t even try to stop the silent tears that began to slide down my cheeks. “Why didn’t the doctors do something sooner?”

“Because he never went back to the hospital after he was released and discharged from the army. He’d already decided not to have the surgery to try and remove the pieces, and he didn’t go to any of the regular appointments his doctors had set up for him. If he’d gone, they probably would have found the problem sooner, but Dalton had already resigned himself to his future. The medication he was taking was highly addictive, so popping an extra one here and there made him feel better until it didn’t, and then he’d take a bit more.”

There was no judgment or harshness in Ronan’s voice, which I was glad for. The idea of the man blaming Dalton for anything that had happened would have had me seeing red.

“He’s not in any immediate danger. The shrapnel won’t just suddenly move and sever the nerves, but the longer he ignores the problem, the higher the probability that surgery won’t be an option anymore,” Ronan added.

I felt like I was going to throw up. Anger, fear, and despair had joined together to form a huge knot in my stomach.

“Silver, none of this is your problem.”

“Then why did you tell me?” I asked.

“Because you have a right to know. You’ve been kept in the dark long enough, and not just about Dalton’s condition, either. I’m not here to influence any decisions you need to make, but I do want you to have all the information you need to make those decisions. You’ve probably already figured out that the men watching you and the house work for me.”

I nodded because I’d known the doctor had been in charge from the moment I’d stepped off the private jet and onto American soil.

“My team and I have a lot of resources when it comes to situations like this,” Ronan said before becoming silent for several long seconds. He seemed to be lost in thought. He shook his head and his eyes met mine. “You and Dalton aren’t a situation. You’re family. Whether you want to be or not.”

I nearly choked as my throat instantly closed shut. Ronan chuckled. “If Jace hasn’t already told Dalton that, I suspect he’ll pretty much have the same reaction.” The big man paused for a moment, which gave me time to remember to breathe.

“It’s scary, isn’t it?” he asked with a smile. “To want to believe it’s true… that you’re no longer alone.” Ronan shook his head back and forth slowly, the smile still there. I had a feeling the man was thinking of his husband and children. “That you have someone to come home to,” he finally said. He hesitated for a few seconds before saying, “I don’t know what your relationship with Dalton is and it’s none of my business. I don’t know for sure that you’re in any kind of danger, but it wouldn’t matter either way. Dalton believes it. That’s enough for me, Jace, and every man standing outside that door.” Ronan pointed toward the front door.

“I need to be with him,” I admitted as I dropped my eyes to my hands which I’d started twisting together at some point. I was glad when Ronan didn’t interject. He didn’t make a move to get up. He wasn’t calling in one of his men to update them. He was… listening.

“I can’t move,” I said with a shake of my head. “I… I can’t…” I struggled to find the right words. “I’m lost,” I whispered shamefully.

Ronan leaned forward just a bit. “Then you hang on to whatever the fuck you need to inside here,” he ordered as he pointed at his own head. “One thing, Silver. Hold on to one thing. An image, a memory, a smell, a voice… anything. Hold on to it with everything you’re worth and I promise you that a day will come where you’ll hear that voice or see that light or feel that hand that will show you the way home.”

I managed a nod even as more tears slid down my cheeks. This man got it. He understood the battle that was raging within me. Maybe not the specifics of what was running through my tired brain, but he knew.

“What was yours?” I asked.

Ronan smiled again. That soft smile that shouldn’t have looked right on such an intimidating face but did just the same.

“A kiss,” he simply said.

I didn’t ask for details because not only was it none of my business, but I didn’t care what those details were. I was already looking for something of my own to hang on to, to keep me from slipping beneath the black waves that kept crashing over me, each one threatening to draw me under. I found myself smiling when I found the thing I needed to cling to until the storm was over.

I opened my eyes and saw Ronan watching me with pride. It felt strange and good at the same time.

“Will you take me to see him?” I asked. “Now,” I added. I had the thing I needed to hang on to, but I needed to make sure Dalton had his too.

I just hoped I was his anchor.

Just like he was mine.

Chapter 21

DALTON

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