Page 38 of Damaged

For about five seconds.

Then I panicked.

Full on, flipping the fuck out, panicked.

My instinct told me to flee but there was nowhere to go. I was pinned in by Dalton’s big body and the side of the boat. I wanted to laugh when I realized that if I tried jumping off the boat, I didn’t know what would happen. Would I automatically start swimming because I knew how, or would I flounder and sink beneath the surface of the water?

The latter sounded like a good thing, but Dalton closed his hand around my wrist before I could even move. It was like he knew what I was thinking. Did he know I couldn’t breathe? Did he know I was choking on my own fear?

Fear that he was right.

Hope that he was wrong.

I couldn’t carry the weight of dreaming about a family that didn’t exist. I couldn’t do cartwheels and laugh so hard my stomach muscles hurt. I couldn’t sit on his fucking boat a moment longer.

“Take me back,” I croaked. I managed to see Dalton flip the switch for the autopilot but then my vision began to dim. “Take me back now!” I screamed at the top of my lungs. I had no idea where the breath I’d needed to make the demand had come from, but it was gone just as quickly. My head was spinning, and I felt like I was going to throw up.

“Silver, look at me,” Dalton ordered. His voice sounded like it was a million miles away. “Open your eyes,” he demanded… commanded.

I opened my eyes only to find that both my hands were wrapped around his forearms. He was holding my face, his grip firm but gentle.

“I need you to slow your breathing, sweetheart,” Dalton said.

How the fuck was I supposed to do that when I couldn’t breathe?

“Keep your eyes on me,” Dalton said. It wasn’t a suggestion. I should have been telling him to fuck off, but I couldn’t force myself to loosen my hold on him or tear my face from his hands. His eyes burned into me, so it was easy to get lost in the dark green pools that reminded me of the trees that surrounded Ivan’s house.

I did my best to hold my breath.

“Listen to me counting. I want you to breathe out on every number.”

It was the stupidest thing I’d heard. How was him counting going to return oxygen to my starving lungs? But I did it anyway because it seemed like a better choice than passing out or worse.

It took several rounds of Dalton counting to ten to finally pick up on the rhythm that matched the numbers. He kept spreading the numbers out so I was forced to exhale at a slower rate.

I couldn’t say how long it took before I felt steadier. I was still breathing hard, but it felt more like I’d been running instead of the sensation of suffocating.

When I finally felt like myself again, I was shocked to find that I was wrapped in Dalton’s strong arms. He was whispering things into my ear, but I couldn’t make them out. I knew I should yank myself free of him, but my body wouldn’t respond to my brain’s order.

What if they weren’t your parents?

Despite how safe I felt in the bigger man’s arms, the instinct to flee was still at the forefront of my mind.

“Take me back, Dalton. Please.”

He was the one to untangle our bodies. “Okay. It will take a few minutes,” he said as he reached for the steering wheel. When I tried to move out of the way, his free hand closed over my thigh. He got us turned around and then he sped the boat up as fast as it would go, which wasn’t fast at all.

By the time we reached his house, my body began to crash, and I found myself leaning against him. He skillfully got the boat tied off. The second it was secure, I practically leapt off the boat and ran to his SUV. All the thoughts he’d put in my head swirled around like a tornado, ripping me apart bit by bit. God, how did I even know what a tornado was? For the life of me, I couldn’t remember even hearing the word, much less having any clue what it was. I’d never searched for or seen information about them because there hadn’t been reason to.

Not my parents.

What if it were true?

Even the thought had me yanking hard on the SUV’s door handle but to no avail. “Unlock it!” I shouted as I moved around the vehicle’s hood. I was about to repeat the order when I saw how carefully Dalton was taking the steps that led from the dock up to the house. Knowing I was the cause of him even having to get off the boat that so clearly helped him relax made my already churning stomach send bile up to the back of my throat.

The instinct to run down the path to offer him support like I had when we’d first arrived at the house was strong, but my selfish need to escape was much stronger. My entire body was shaking when I finally heard the definitive beeping from the SUV that indicated the doors had been unlocked.

I rushed to the passenger seat and climbed in. I fumbled with the seat belt so I wouldn’t need to experience Dalton strapping me in like a child because I had no idea how to do it myself.

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