Page 73 of Damaged

“We became one from the moment we met. Two halves finally becoming whole. Hurting you, frightening you, taking your power from you—I would never survive it. I can’t go back to being just half anymore. I know I come with a shit ton of baggage, but?—”

I kissed him hard to shut him up because his words were killing me. The second I’d been released from captivity, all I’d wanted was to figure out how to start a new life… how to survive it. I didn’t need to do that with Dalton. With him, I was allowed to live life. He’d given that to me, and I’d given the same to him.

“We’re one in the heart, Dalton. I want us to be one in every other way possible,” I managed to say. Thankfully, he captured my lips and made speaking no longer necessary. I could feel his dick hardening against me.

I wasn’t the least bit nervous as he began to make love to my body with his mouth like he had so many times before. My still-hard dick was painfully sensitive, but I knew if he touched it, or if I did, for that matter, there’d be no time to truly make love. Dalton seemed to sense the same thing because he avoided touching me in any kind of way that would have me going off like a firecracker.

Once his mouth finished making a complete pass over my body, Dalton paused and held my eyes. I was certain he was going to ask me if I was sure, but instead he said, “Do you remember what I was telling you about properly preparing a lover?”

I nodded. He’d explained what lubricant was, as well as condoms, neither of which I’d known about during my time with Ivan. Prior to leaving the hospital after the nerve block, Dalton had asked me if it was okay if Ronan looked me over to make sure there were no lingering injuries from Ivan’s beating or Dalton’s inadvertent attack the morning I’d woken him from his nightmare. I’d agreed and while he’d given me a clean bill of health, Ronan had patiently explained about the diseases that could pass between partners if they didn’t protect themselves and each other. He hadn’t gone into detail about condoms and such, but he had asked if, in addition to blood he’d drawn for standard lab tests, he could also submit some of the blood to be tested for any of those diseases. I’d tested negative on everything, and during my gay sex 101 lessons, Dalton had said he’d tested negative as well.

“No condoms,” I blurted.

Dalton smiled that sweet, patient smile of his that I’d never get tired of.

“No condoms,” he agreed. “But we do need to use the lubricant.”

The whole discussion had cooled my jets a bit but, at the same time, it reminded me where I was and who I was with. Ivan hadn’t given a shit about hurting me. He’d thrived on it. Dalton, on the other hand, only wanted me to feel good. He wanted to show me he loved me, not just tell me.

“Yes,” I said with a nod. Dalton reached above my head to grab a tube from a little cabinet above my head. He didn’t open it, though; he just set it aside. Then his mouth was on mine, and he began fanning the flames of need until I was squirming beneath him. I could feel pre-cum on my abdomen, but I didn’t know if it was mine or his since his hard dick was sliding against mine.

When he reached for the lube, I sucked in a breath and then began to roll over. Dalton caught my hips and stopped me.

“I thought you wanted…” I couldn’t finish the statement because I was too busy wondering what I’d done wrong to make him not want me anymore. Shame curled through me as I tried to push Dalton off me.

“Silver, remember you can say that special word at any time, but do it for the right reasons, okay?”

I paused in my struggles. Dalton didn’t seem angry or frustrated.

So maybe I hadn’t messed things up.

Dalton settled his weight back down on me and murmured, “Seems I left something out of my gay sex teachings.” He stroked different parts of my face. “Men, and women for that matter, can have sex in all kinds of positions. I probably don’t even know what they all are but the top few that come to mind are from behind, which is the one I’m guessing you already know about. But they can also make love facing each other. You remember what we did on the beach?” he asked.

I could feel myself blushing.

“And on the seat up there behind the steering wheel,” he said with a grin.

“Okay, I got it,” I said before giving him a light shove.

Dalton chuckled before his face became serious again. “Someday I’ll want to try all kinds of new positions with you, Silver. Right now, though, I want to see you as I make love to you.”

I managed a nod but nothing more. I loved the idea of being able to see Dalton’s face while he was touching me. I shivered in a not-so-good way when I suddenly realized that he might like putting his hands around my throat while he?—

“Talk to me, sweetheart. I can see the wheels in your head spinning.”

I wanted to cry because I’d wanted all of this to be over now. I wanted to know I could stand it when Dalton put himself inside of me. I wanted to know if it would feel like Ivan or worse. Would Dalton not be Dalton anymore once he was inside of me?

“Silver—”

“Ivan liked to put his hands around my throat when he… it made it hard to breathe.”

My blunt statement had definitely caught Dalton off guard. “I mean, you can still do it if you want, but maybe not so hard?—”

“I know that piece of shit is the only thing you have to compare me against, but even if I did like rough sex, it would be have to be something I and the man I was with were both into. I’m not into getting off on making someone else feel pain. And you’re not just someone. You’re the man who owns my heart.” He paused before adding, “You remember when you were on your knees a few minutes ago?”

God, I had to be blushing to the roots of my hair. Thankfully, Dalton didn’t wait for me to answer the obvious question.

“You could tell I was holding back, right?”

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