Page 56 of Damaged

Jace had mentioned a few times that Ronan had offered him a spot on the team but he’d always said no, preferring to work solo. Even the lure of being able to provide more resources to try and find Maggie hadn’t swayed Jace. I suspected it was something he had and always would regret.

“Ronan is on his way, by the way,” Jace added.

On any other day, I would have fought Jace tooth and nail for making that kind of decision without telling me, but now I was glad for it.

“I need to see Silver,” I said. “Jace, please.” I felt like I was going to crawl out of my own skin.

“He’s in his room.”

That was all I needed to hear. I stumbled past Jace. It felt like I was going to keel over at any point, but my destination was too important for me to stop.

Once I reached Silver’s door, I knocked but there was no answer. Fortunately, like my own bedroom door, his didn’t have a lock on it either, so I slowly opened it.

I saw him immediately. He was sitting on the far side of the bed, his eyes staring out the window even though there was nothing to see because the curtains were closed. He didn’t flinch when I entered the room and closed the door behind me. I carefully made my way around the bed so I could face him. If he heard me, he didn’t react. In fact, he hadn’t reacted from the moment I’d entered the room.

There was no place to sit other on the bed beside him. “Can I sit?” I asked as I motioned to the part of the bed that was closer to the footboard. When Silver didn’t respond to me in any way, I took the chance and sat down. I could tell he was in one of his trancelike places where the outside world didn’t exist. How was I ever going to bring him back from it?

“Silver—”

“I want to hit you so badly right now, Dalton,” Silver said. There was definitely no trance happening. His voice was full of so many things. Anger, hatred, despair, disappointment.

“Then do it,” I responded. “I deserve anything you want to say or do to me.”

I didn’t even flinch when Silver slowly stood and moved so he was in front of me. I knew his fists wouldn’t cause much damage. I was more worried he’d hurt his hands in the process.

Like the coward I was, I didn’t want to see any more of the emotional pain I’d inflicted on him, so I dropped my head. It would still give him access to my cheeks, though. I waited for the first blow to fall, but Silver was taking his time. I knew he was standing directly in front of me because I could see his bare feet.

I had no idea how much time passed before I felt his hands on my cheeks. Not his fisted hands, but his palms. I suspected he wanted to have more of my face available to strike, so I didn’t fight him when he forced me to look at him. It was pure torture when I saw that he was crying silent tears. His face was red, and his eyes were puffy, proof he’d been crying long before my arrival.

“Do it,” I whispered. I would give anything to take away the pain I’d caused him, along with the fact that I hadn’t been there when he’d needed me most.

Determination was written all over his face. I couldn’t bear to look at him anymore, so I closed my eyes.

Which meant I never saw it coming.

Silver’s mouth suddenly slammed down on mine. It took me a few seconds to process what was happening, but then I was right there with him. He was on my lap before I could even wonder if what was happening was real or it was all some kind of fucked-up, alcohol-induced dream I was having.

Silver’s mouth consumed mine as he took complete control. I was happy to give that to him. His hands were on my face so he could angle my head the way he wanted. His kisses weren’t gentle and sweet. They were angry and desperate. I could taste his tears. It should have been enough to make me put an end to the whole thing, but instead, I ran my fingers through his soft hair and met him, kiss for kiss. Our tongues, lips, the way we were clinging to each other, they all spoke the words neither of us could say. I felt his anger and despair and hoped he felt my shame and regret.

We were both panting like we’d just run a marathon when Silver finally broke the kiss. He kept his palms on my face and his lips hovering right over mine. He let out a harsh little sob.

“Do you know what it did to me, seeing you on the floor like that? Not waking up…” Silver choked out. His entire body was shaking, and he felt as cold as ice.

I opened my mouth to tell him I was sorry, but I knew those simple words wouldn’t help. I’d wounded him far too deeply. There weren’t any words I could say that would even begin to undo the damage I’d done.

“I know it doesn’t help, but I didn’t do it on purpose. I just wanted to forget for a little while.”

“Forget me?” Silver asked, his voice more even now.

I faintly nodded but quickly added, “It was my choice, my fault. Not yours, not anyone else’s.” I kissed him softly. “I told you things I’d been trying to forget. I told you things I’d never told anyone else, not even Jace. When I woke up in your arms in that lounger, I lost my shit because I knew you were going to leave. I was such a fucking coward. I am a coward,” I whispered. “You were the last person I wanted to hurt.”

This time it was Silver who placed a sweet kiss on my lips. “You were the last person I thought would ever hurt me,” he admitted.

I dropped my head, his palms still on my cheeks, because I couldn’t stand to look at him any longer.

“I never wanted to see you again,” Silver continued, sinking the knife in my chest deeper and deeper with each word.

It was like something was eating me from the inside out when Silver carefully extricated his body from mine. He sat down next to me, which I wanted to believe was a good thing, but it could also be a very bad thing. He could still choose to leave me, and I’d have to let him go, but Jace would make sure Silver was protected no matter what.

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