Page 42 of Damaged

Just like I had no explanation for what happened next.

“Don’t go,” I whispered.

I kept my fingers wrapped loosely around his wrist so he could escape if he wanted to. I felt weak and needy as I stared at my lap like it was the most interesting thing in the world. A million thoughts ran through my head as I tried to come up with whatever had caused me to let those two words fall from my mouth.

It was because I didn’t want him to have to sell his body for some fucker to use and then throw away.

And his connection to Jace meant I needed to make sure he was safe.

I told myself I would have done the same for anyone in his situation.

As true as all the reasons were, they weren’t the full truth.

I couldn’t—no, I wouldn’t tell him that truth. I wouldn’t think about how right he’d felt in my arms when he’d ended up riding my body because he’d been so turned on. I wouldn’t admit that I’d liked watching his expression as he’d driven my boat. I wouldn’t tell him that for the first time in a long time, I’d woken up this morning with a smile on my face and thoughts of what it would be like to greet each day with Silver’s slim body wrapped around mine.

“Just… don’t go,” I repeated when I realized Silver hadn’t moved. Not to stay. But not to leave either.

“You want me—?” Silver began before abruptly stopping as if he’d only just heard his own words.

I didn’t get to think about my answer because Silver quickly continued with, “To stay at your house? You want me to stay at your house with you?”

His confusion should have been reason enough to give him at least one truth.

But the words that came out were anything but the truth.

“Yeah,” I began. “I was, um, thinking I could use some help around the house. Like with the cleaning and stuff.” God, I sounded like I was a kid asking him to the prom or something.

“To clean?” Silver asked. I ignored the fact that he might have sounded a little disappointed.

“Just till you get on your feet, and I don’t have dust bunnies threatening to strangle me in my sleep,” I said with a forced laugh. I’d managed to unhinge my neck so I could finally man up and look at Silver instead of my lap.

I wasn’t sure if the joke was lost on him or if it was the proposition itself that had him glancing out the window at the bus terminal. I wanted to tell him that anything was better than what he was about to do in that ugly place, but I held my tongue. I wasn’t sure if I wanted him to say yes or no.

Probably a little of each.

His answer took forever to come but it wasn’t with words. It came when he shut the passenger side door. He looked as green around the gills as I felt.

What the hell had I just done?

I didn’t want this. I didn’t give a shit that my house was covered in years’ worth of dust and grime. That shit didn’t stop me from losing myself in pills and alcohol.

I reminded myself that Silver’s action had answered my question, so regrets or not, I had to follow through with exactly what I’d asked him for.

To come back to my house with me.

House.

Not home.

Home was something that had and would only ever belong to me. The place I’d worked so hard to make my own. The place where no one could ever leave me behind again.

Ever.

“Back to my house,” I said more to myself than Silver. It wasn’t like he’d catch on to which term I’d used.

I should have been relieved when Silver buckled his seat belt and stared out the passenger side window. I should have been able to let the tension leave my body as I drove out of the parking lot and away from the place that would have swallowed Silver whole.

I didn’t. I didn’t feel relief. I knew I wouldn’t.

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