Page 63 of Supernova

“I like getting personal with you.”

“So not even a past girlfriend?”

“I’ve not had a girlfriend,” he admitted. “I like you, Cosmo. I like you a lot. But I don’t do the whole boyfriend thing. I’m happy to just exist as is. I don’t do the label and I don’t promise commitment. People never keep promises, so I don’t see the point in it. But I do want to keep doing this. With you.”

“That’s fine with me. I probably couldn’t do a boyfriend right now anyway.” It was mostly true, at least for the moment. But I wondered if his stance on that would ever change. Either way, I’d take what he was giving me. I’d take whatever I could get from him.

Personally, I thought he kissed me with too much emotion to be casual. But hey, what did I know? I was just a girl who thought a wolf loved me and was not secretly killing people. Clearly, I was the last person who could be trusted to make inferences about people's intentions. So I would just enjoy the ride. All aboard the Griffin express.

Now that I knew who I was on my own. Now that I had an identity without a boy, I could let a boy in. I could enjoy him and take whatever he would give without letting it take from me.

Maybe Kit was rubbing off on me. But friends with benefits sounded pretty damn good for now, especially if he was the friend that was giving all the benefits. Maybe this way I wouldn’t be crushed like the last time.

I mulled over what he said, realising he preferred the common areas of the compound because they were less lonely.

“What was it like? Growing up in the academy?” I leaned my head back down on his chest, listening to the soothing rhythm of his heart beating.

His fingers played with my hair as he spoke. “Boring. Desolate. Cold. Thea wasn’t the most motherly of mothers. She always worked; the academy was and always will be her only real love in life. All her attention was focused towards making sure it ran smoothly. She took after her dad in that regard. So, I was kinda passed around when I was young, someone always tasked with looking after me. Until I could look after myself. Which I was forced to do quite quickly. You kinda have to when you have no one to rely on. And as you know, my dad had already left.” I heard the slight sigh that escaped him. “I was the only child in the compound at the time. Life changed for me when Kit came along. I was intrigued by the fiery little thing. And we became instant friends. One by one, more teenagers started to transfer in from other academies with their families or occasionally from the streets. Some nice. Some not so nice. But our little group formed and I had something to look forward to.” I didn’t need to turn my head to see the smile on his face. I could hear it in his voice.

“There was always a lot of pressure on me. People expected that I be the best recruit. Especially Thea. So, I trained a lot. I felt like no one would want me if I wasn’t the best. By the time I was twelve I had already found and mastered the sword. I had nothing else to do. No childhood. So, I became obsessed with it all. So much so that normal lessons and training couldn’t stimulate me anymore. Which is probably why I acted out a lot as a teenager. I was bored.” He grinned down at me. “But you stimulate me.”

“Griff,” I grumbled. I wanted to hear more. I wanted to know everything about him.

“Okay, okay.” He chuckled. “When I was sixteen, I was given my own room. At nineteen, Thea gave me this apartment. An incentive to stop acting like an idiot and start taking my role at the Knights seriously. Another academy kid had died on a patrol at the time. She didn’t want me to end up like that. That’s when I worked my way up the ranks. Became a captain. So now I mindlessly get up every day. Train and patrol. Do what I’m told. It all feels the same. The only excitement comes from the few times I actually get to face a wolf.”

I looked up at him, meeting the deep grey of his eyes. They sparkled mischievously. “It’s been boring as fuck.” His hand gripped my hair tighter, keeping me in the hold of his silver gaze. “Until you came along.”

In an instant, his lips met mine. Passionate fire for a few blissful seconds before he pulled away with a wicked smile.

We both had this unusual, lonely childhood. Full of self-doubt and unknowns. For me, it led to clinging to what felt safe at that time—my best friend that happened to be a wolf. A person who showed kindness and love towards me. Who made me feel safe and secure. Stable. It seemed like it did the opposite for Griffin, causing him to either keep to himself or act out. He was lucky that he had such a supportive group or friends to keep him sane in a place that was clearly not made for children. The thought of a little Griffin feeling isolated, unwanted and unworthy made my heart break.

“I’m glad I could be of service,” I joked, beginning to get up. We had woken up early this morning but neither of us bothered to get ready for our usual Tuesday morning training session.

“Where do you think you’re going?” He grabbed my wrist.

“Shouldn’t we train?”

“Oh, we're going to train alright. This morning I’ll be testing your endurance.” That devilish smirk that elicited an array of bodily responses in me reappeared.

CHAPTER 36

Despite his words, Griffin acted like a boyfriend in most ways. It had been a few weeks of absolute heaven. When we weren’t training, we spent almost all our spare time together. And even if he’d disappear for a bit and I’d spend time with the girls, he’d always find me, slot himself in and find a way to be touching me. It had become such a normal occurrence that the rest of them didn’t even bat an eyelid when he’d pick me up and put me in his lap while we were mid conversation or slid between us on the couch so I was leaning on him. I had to admit it was really fucken cute.

But I also didn’t fully understand what he actually defined as being a ‘boyfriend’, because as far as I was concerned, we were essentially doing everything a couple did. He’d even admitted to me he hadn’t actually slept with anyone else since that first week I arrived at the academy. And obviously I hadn’t either.

As confusing as our relationship was, I did understand that based on his past, he didn’t believe in promises or commitments.

Whatever we were, I liked it. Title or no title.

We were sitting in our usual spot along the large concrete table in the Diner, getting deep and discussing the possibility of life in other galaxies and the existence of multiple universes while eating some dessert. Now was no different to every other time we were with our friends, with Griffin’s large arm around my waist, I was huddled into the crook of his body. At this point, it felt so normal for us.

Not that it didn’t still give me goosebumps. It did. The tingles never ceased when he touched me.

“So,” Kit started. “Do you think the Kitanas in other universes are as bad-ass as me? Like do we think they’re the same as us or completely different people?”

I popped a chocolate covered strawberry in my mouth while I thought. There was chocolate on my fingers so I reached over to get a napkin but Griffin grabbed my wrist before I could. He pulled it towards his mouth and looked down at me. Slowly, so slowly, he put my finger in his mouth, wrapping his lips around it as he sucked off the chocolate. We didn’t break eye contact. His silver eyes bored into mine as my heart pounded ever so fast. I was so mesmerised by him that I forgot our friends were sitting right there.

“Okay, wow. I am officially turned on,” Kit admitted. When I broke his gaze and looked over to her, she was fanning herself. “Is it getting hot in here or is it just you two?”

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