Page 35 of Supernova

“So feeling things for Griffin isn’t horrible of me?”

“Personally, I don’t think so. And even if you just needed a rebound, or a distraction, I think that’s also completely okay too.” Her shoulders raised as she shrugged it off.

“But is that wrong of me to use Griffin?”

“It would be, if Griffin wasn’t aware of it. But he is—more than aware actually. And he’s clearly offered his … uh …” she laughed to herself before continuing, “services. So no, it’s just two people having mutually agreed upon sex. I know you're not usually the one-night-stand type of girl, and I think it’s clear to Griff too. So maybe casual sex could work for you two. I can relate, so I get why it’s confusing for you. It’s not what you’re used to and you’ve been in a relationship for as long as you can remember. So if you decide to not pursue anything with Griff at all, that’s okay too. I think you need to take the time to think about it and not rush into it, for your own mental state. I don’t want you to regret anything. But I want you to know that you’re allowed to do whatever you want to do now. It’s okay to be a bit selfish sometimes. Maybe something that’s a little less serious and more fun is what you need right now. And maybe he can be that for you.” I nodded silently, taking in everything she had said.

“Is there a chance you feel more than just sexual attraction towards him?” She broke the silence between us first, doing a terrible job at hiding that slightly excited smile.

I blushed. “I almost don’t let myself think about it for long enough to know what I want. But I mean—” I sighed, “Yes. I could see myself with someone like him. I could want to spend all my time with him. And I definitely, obviously, wish that he would want that with me. But you know Griff, he’s not that type of guy. Right? Besides, I don’t think I should jump into anything serious so soon. Even if that would be something I’d love one day—for that to be with him. I don’t think it’s something I should ever hope or expect from him. Honestly, I’d be happy just having sex with him. I hate to admit that it’s been on my mind a lot, but it has. I’m just scared, I need to keep my expectations low so I don’t get hurt and just enjoy the moment. I’m worried though that it’ll be this mind blowing thing for me and it won’t be for him. That he’ll get bored and move on once he gets what he wants. I hope that isn’t the case … but that’s part of my fear.”

Her smile faded slightly, worry clear on her face. “I’ve never seen him serious before or actually into anyone, so it’s likely he’ll want something casual over anything else, but I’ve also never seen him put so much effort into one person before. I don’t know what that means exactly but I highly doubt he’d be done with you after one night. I think you need to talk to him, feel out what he wants too. Because from what I’ve observed, it seems like he might want more as well. I feel like he has feelings for you, even if he can’t admit it. At the very least, he cares for you. But I don’t want to get your hopes up. I also wouldn’t want him to get hurt either if this is the first time he’s actually wanted more from someone and they aren’t ready. He’s more sensitive than people give him credit for. He’s just learnt to hide it well.” She spoke about him with so much concern. She spoke about all her friends like that. I smiled tenderly at her; a wise old soul in a young, beautiful body.

But despite what she said, I couldn’t dwell on it. As much as I wanted it to be true, I couldn’t let myself contemplate or hope. So I brushed the thought of anything more serious away. “I’m sure he isn’t interested in anything else but sex from me,” I started. “But, I will definitely feel it out … if anything ever happens that is,” I offered with a smile. “Thank you, Billie.”

“Anytime, Vee. I’m here for you no matter what.” I got up from my seat and gave her a tight hug, grateful for her listening ear and sound advice. Then I sat back down, picked up my book and we both smiled at each other before returning to our reading. Both content to sit silently and enjoy each other’s company—not to mention the peace and quiet.

CHAPTER 23

It was time to spar Sienna, and while it wasn’t guaranteed she’d be my opponent, I had this gut feeling—call it my intuition finally kicking in—that today was going to be the day. Since that first initiation fight, I had been lucky enough to not have to fight her again for a few reasons: (1) because most training days were with your chosen partner; (2) I was still in the earlier stages of training and usually that meant learning the basics; and (3) I was pretty sure my friends had helped me avoid her at every possible opportunity.

Between the four of them, I usually always had someone to spar with. And in the rare instances we did have to swap around, they made sure to pair me with other warriors that were going to help my progress and teach me valuable lessons, not ones who just wanted to drop me on my ass. Although, I was pretty sure Griffin did really enjoy doing just that.

Billie had explained that every couple of months they liked to do a longer, mandatory sparring session. One that ensured partners were rotated so that we got experience fighting people with different techniques, strategies and tells. After all, the wolves we fought out there would not take it easy on us, nor would we be accustomed to their fighting style. So this version of sparring made total sense to me. But that didn’t mean I was looking forward to it.

I took my time getting ready this morning. Needing the extra few moments to myself to breathe, focus and meditate in an attempt to get in the right headspace and prepare myself for whatever was going to come my way. I walked to breakfast on my own, meeting the rest of my friends in the Diner. They had already started eating and had saved me my usual spot between Griffin and Carter—although Carter often floated about and didn’t always occupy the seat next to me. Unsurprisingly, there was a plate filled with waffles, berries, bacon and a glass of OJ waiting for me. My friends were the greatest.

“Get those carbs in today,” Griffin commanded in his gravelly voice. “You’ll need the energy to keep up with everyone.”

“Thanks guys,” I breathed as I slipped into my seat, eyeing the full plate of food that I couldn’t wait to devour. I was so hungry these days, my body needing the extra fuel.

“How you feeling about your first Tangle, love?” Carter asked. I could tell his energy levels were up. He lived for the extra adrenaline and loved the nervous excitement present in the air.

I looked at him confused. “Tangle?”

Kit was the one to reply. “Yeah, we love to name things around here.”

“I noticed.” I side-eyed Griffin and he huffed a laugh, knowing I was referring to the millions of unnecessary nicknames he gave me.

I stabbed a blueberry with my fork as I continued, “Honestly, I’m a mixed bag. I’m excited to get to practice everything you guys have taught me and it makes perfect sense to spar with everyone, but I don’t feel confident enough to take on anyone else yet, especially not Sienna.”

“You’ll do great,” Carter confidently declared. He was too kind. Always the hype man and so full of positive energy.

“Mmm, I don’t know, Car. I haven’t figured out the whole intuition, sixth sense thing yet. And obviously Sienna is a pro at it.”

It was Griffin who chirped in with the bleak words of wisdom, “You only need to hold up against her. Just don’t get killed.”

“Gee, thanks,” I muttered under my breath.

“What I mean is that Sienna is an accomplished fighter. You don’t need to beat her. You just need to hold her off. If you can show that you can defend yourself against someone of her stature, that’s what counts here. That’s what the officials are looking for,” he added benevolently. “Out there, you’d likely only fight with a wolf long enough for someone in your squad to get to you for backup. Then you do what needs to be done as a team. Until then, it’s all about survival. Of course, if you’re strong enough to kill a wolf on your own, then great.” He shrugged as he said the last part, as if it was nothing. As if he was talking about playing a sport or something, and not killing a deadly creature.

“Exactly,” Billie agreed. “The main thing here is practising diversity in your combat. Plus, not all warriors have their sixth sense honed in, and some of them don’t have it at all. Sienna is a great fighter, it comes naturally to her, but she still has areas of improvement and her intuition is one of those. Isn’t that right, Griff?”

“Correct,” was his only response before he chugged down his juice and got up to leave.

“Where are you heading off to in such a rush?” I called after him.

He spoke as he walked away, “To set up some things for training.” He turned back with a smirk, “Try not to miss me too much.”

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