Page 75 of Surrender

“Shut up,” she mumbles with her face tucked against my neck.

I cinch my arm tighter and inhale the scent of her flowery perfume.

19

Whitney

Over the next few days, Jack and I settle into an amicable routine. I complete training at work and become more familiar with the day-to-day of my job. The work itself is easy enough, but there’s an undercurrent of stress that wasn’t present before. This job was meant to provide for my kids in addition to the money I had saved. With Devon’s sudden reappearance, I can’t help but wonder if it’ll be enough now that he’s swept my potential safety net away.

Jack had security cameras installed then spent an evening setting up apps on my phone and showing me how it all worked. He took my car to be swept for a tracking device down at the police station, which turned up empty.

Between staying at his house, his dog, and the extra security measures, I feel safer than I have in probably years. But I also decided that I need to retain a degree of normality. For my sanity and for the kids.

Devon never threatened me, not outright, not physically. He’s an asshole of epic proportions, but I don’t think he’d ever lay a hand on me or the kids. For that reason, Jack and I agreed that I leave the house for work and bring the kids to daycare on my own. We finally exchanged phone numbers with the promise that I would call him immediately if Devon showed up to give me trouble. Jack would then send the police to my location while heading there himself.

Ultimately, this plan seemed like the best way to retain some autonomy while not putting myself in danger.

After living under Devon’s thumb and the eyes of hisbusiness partners, the last thing I want to do is find myself in another situation without control. Jack seems to understand and has been giving me a wide berth.

Likewide, wide.

We wake around the same time. I take the kids to daycare, and he goes to the motel or to help one of his family members. I leave the hospital around four to pick up the kids. Most days, we head straight home, where Jack and I dance around who’s cooking dinner. There’s a flurry of activity while I soak in every precious moment with my kids—I feed them, bathe them, and settle them into bed. Then I tend to read or shop or surf on my phone until Jack creeps in around ten o’clock.

And every night, as if we’ve been doing this for a decade instead of a week, he slips into his sleep clothes, lifts the top comforter, slides in, drapes his arm over my waist, his face in my hair, and falls asleep.

Rinse and repeat.

It’s been great, really. A good compromise. He’s warm and comfortable, and I get to feel him against me, but that’s also the problem.

I get to feel him against me, and nothing more.

Jack lit a freaking fire under my libido, stoked the flames, and left it to burn. But rather than burning out, it just keeps on burning brighter.

For a bit, I thought maybe we could be going somewhere. Testing the waters. Flirting with this mutual attraction. My blood sizzles in his presence, deprived of his touch.

But it feels like he’s pumped the brakes on anything other than bedtime snuggles. Maybe he’s realized that my kids and I are a little too much.

I mean, what content bachelor takes one look at a single mom to a toddler and an infant, moves them into his house, and thinks,yep, thischaos is exactly what I had in mindfor my future.

Not a one of them.

When my moving truck arrived on Friday, I felt relieved just to have something distracting to do. Jack helped me pile boxes high in his garage in smothering silence, and I decided then and there to give him a little space.

With that in mind, I took the kids Christmas shopping and for a playdate at Bree’s over the weekend and left him alone.

Either he didn’t notice or he was relieved to finally have some breathing room.

But Sunday night, like he’s been doing since I found him sitting awake in his recliner, he quietly crawled into bed, pulled me close, and fell asleep with his face in my hair.

I wake on Monday morning to silence. I quiet my alarm and find the bed empty between myself and the nightstand. Lucy must have snuck out at some point, a habit she’s becoming more and more familiar with.Sensing the cool sheets behind me, Jack must be out with her in the other room.

With a fewminutesto myself, Istretchmy arms over my head and pick up myphoneto fire off a text.

Me

Any word from him?

Alice

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