Page 19 of Surrender

His jaw tightens, and he gives a sharp nod. “I get it. Whatever you’re comfortable with. Let me get that food going for you guys.”

“Wait.”

He turns back to me in silence.

“I could use a shower,” I blurt.

He’s nodding before the last syllable is out of my mouth. “Sure, yeah. Do you need soap or anything?”

“No. Would it be okay if I set up Bennett’s video monitor on you guys? I just… I’d just feel a little better about leaving them.”

“That’s fine,” he assures me.

The lump in my throat dissipates at the concern on his face. “I’ll be quick. I only need ten minutes.”

“It’s okay. Whatever you feel is best. I’ll just get the food started and hang out on the couch with them. What do you say, Lucy? Do you like lasagna?”

“What’s basagna?” she looks up from her coloring book to ask.

A shaky smile touches my lips.

Quick, I remind myself. No more than ten minutes. Jack can be on his way, and I can settle in with my kids.

Everything will be okay.

6

Jack

“Here. You can have green.”

“Thank you.” I pluck the crayon from Lucy’s chubby fingers. “Which one should I color?”

She stabs her index finger at the biggest horse on the page. “This one. It’s big like you.”

“Does that mean you’re going to color… this one?” I tap a blunt fingernail atop the smallest horse.

“Yep!” She beams a pearly white toothy grin at me.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to move Bennett?”

Her left arm curls protectively around her brother’s back. “I like him like this.”

The three of us camp out on my leather sofa. Lucy leans against the arm of the couch with her brother wedged between her and the back. He holds a plastic ring in his drool-covered fist and coos happily while he gnaws on it.

A thick coloring book is spread across Lucy’s knees where she insists we color a picture together. The video monitor on the coffee table faces the couch so Whitney can check in on us as she needs while she showers.

For a few minutes, the only noise in the room is the scratch of our crayons and Bennett’s satisfied babbles while the shower runs softly in the background.

Three rapid beeps from the kitchen pierce our quiet activity.

“I have to go put dinner in the oven. Can you sit right here with Bennett for me?”

Lucy bobs her head without missing a swipe of her crayon.

I situate extra pillows in the area I vacate in case anyone decides to move around, but throwing the pan in the oven won’t take me more than thirty seconds, and I’m hardly twenty feet away.

“Stay right there.” I keep my eye on them the entire way to the kitchen.

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