Page 79 of Boyfriend
My head jerks back at this verbal slap. “I’m not being weird. I’m just asking you how your week was.”
She licks her lips nervously. “You and I are supposed to be fun, right?”
“Right,” I agree, but I feel like I’ve lost the thread.
“My life isn’t always fun. Looking for a job has not been any fun. And you made it clear that we weren’t part of each other’s futures. It’s the same reason I was never invited to your sister’s wedding, I suppose?”
Oof. “It’s true what you said. I never thought you would be in Vermont over Memorial Day weekend.”
“Well, I might be. Sorry if that’s an inconvenience.”
“Abbi—”
“You should have seen your face when your sister brought up the wedding. And that I’d be in Burlington. It wasn’t joyous, Weston.”
“I was surprised.”
“Me too,” she says with a sigh. “But it shouldn’t matter, right?” She waves a hand between the two of us. “This, whatever it is, can still reach its natural end point. Tell Lauren we broke up. You don’t have to fake it anymore. Or do I have that wrong?”
“No,” I say, but I feel so confused.
“Then why did you invite me tonight, anyway? If I’m past my expiration date?”
“I just wanted to see you. But, uh, I didn’t think it through.”
Her face falls. “Well, I did think it through. And I’m tired of faking it with your family. It was funny until I got to know them a little. It isn’t funny anymore.”
“Okay,” I grunt, feeling like an asshole. But I don’t even know what I’m agreeing to right now. “Sorry.”
“Now go eat your pizza. I’ll be out in a second.” She disappears into the ladies’ room.
I go back to the table feeling deeply conflicted. This is why I don’t do relationships—I don’t want to fight with anyone. And I’m terrible at it. Abbi made a lot of good points.
It’s true what she said—I’ve been jerking her around. I didn’t mean to. But somehow it happened.
When I slide back into my chair, everyone eyes me warily. “Did you fuck up?” Stevie asks gleefully.
“Possibly.”
He shakes his head. “I used to think you guys weren’t a real couple. But obviously you are. Can’t have a lovers’ quarrel without lovers.”
I take a big bite of pizza and try to tell myself that I didn’t just fuck everything up.
It doesn’t work.
Twenty-Eight
Some Boneheaded Thing
Abbi
I stare at myself in the bathroom mirror as I wash my hands. I see flushed cheeks and tired eyes. I feel so off tonight. Like the world is too bright and too loud.
There was really no need for me to pick a fight with Weston. I don’t know why I lit into him for being a little stunned that I have a job offer here in Burlington. For months I’ve been telling him that I wanted to move to Boston or New York.
But it’s hard to ignore the inevitable. I know he doesn’t want a real girlfriend. I hadn’t expected to change his mind. So it was almost a relief to force the issue.
And—fine—it hurt to hear that I hadn’t been invited to Lauren’s wedding. It’s coming up so soon. My life is happening in fast forward. Graduation is just weeks away. I’m supposed to take one of these jobs and sail into the future.
