Page 33 of Cat's Outta the Bag

I shake my head vigorously, trying to school my features, so no one else notices my distress. "Bathroom! I need the bathroom. Where is it?" I'm starting to stress sweat.

“It’s just down the hall there, first door on the right.” I’m off before he even finishes his sentence. Please, please, please let there be no one in there.

I nearly kiss the person who exits just as I reach the door, and once I'm in, I quickly lock it, kick out of my shoes and yank down my jeans. No wonder they felt a little tighter than expected when I wiggled into them earlier tonight.

The period gods must be feeling benevolent tonight because there's only a tiny drop of blood on the crotch of my jeans; I bet you can't even see it from the other side. My underwear, however? Absolute massacre in there.

The first day of my cycle is always a gusher, then it tapers off and is pretty chill for the next four. I track my period on my calendar, and it's supposed to start in a few days. I guess the stress from work lately made Aunt Flo visit me a little early. And of course, it had to be at a Black and White themed party in which I chose to wear all white! Fuck me.

I whip off the underwear and toss them in the sink. I then take a huge length of toilet paper and fold it several times, making a makeshift pad and stuffing it between my legs. I then spend the next several minutes riffling through every drawer and cabinet, looking for anything I can use. When I can’t find any period products of any variety, I turn to my underwear, trying to rinse out all the blood. Maybe I can get them clean and dry enough for the trip home?

There's a knock at the door that startles me, and I realize I've been in here a long time. "Occupied!" Fuck, I don’t want anyone one to know! I’m a grown-ass adult, I shouldn’t be surprised by my own period anymore!

"Alexis, it's Jason. You ok in there? Are you sick?" He sounds worried, and oddly, it calms me a bit. I'm reminded that I'm not here alone; there's a man outside who loves me and will do anything to help me right now. I unlock the door, open it just enough for him to enter, and then lock it again.

When I turn, he’s staring at me in shock. I almost laugh.

“Uh, babe. Why aren’t you wearing pants or underwear? Better yet, why does it look like you murdered someone in the sink?”

Now I do laugh. Because from his perspective, this is pretty perplexing. He looks so cute when he's confused.

“Well, Hollywood. This is what happens when your period makes a surprise appearance a few days early.”

"Oh shit, ok. What can I do to help?" I could kiss him right now. Of course, his first thought is to ask how he can help, not be grossed out. He's so wonderful. Too wonderful, honestly, because now I'm crying.

His worry turns into alarm as he sees the tears slip out. "Oh no! Honey, don't cry. I'm right here to help; just tell me what you need." He pulls me into his arms, rubbing his hands up and down my back, lips pressed to my temple.

I give myself a minute in his arms before I pull myself together and take a step back. "Jason, I need you to find the kindest, chillest, least likely to gossip woman out there and ask if they have a tampon or pad. And then we are going to head home so I can wallow in ice cream."

He's nodding vigorously, heading for the door. Before he can open it, I add, "And tell Mitch that he is a nearly forty-year-old man. The least he can do is provide a few period products in his guest bathroom for when he hosts parties." Jason shoots me a thumbs up, then slips out the door, careful to keep anyone who might be in the hall from seeing me.

He returns only minutes later with a tampon, and I take care of business. Once I feel sufficiently put back together, we exit the bathroom and leave. Jason said he'd call Mitch tomorrow and let him know we had fun, but needed to leave. And pass along the period product advice.

I'm staring sullenly out the window as we drive home, so I don't immediately notice that we've pulled off the freeway until the car stops. We're at a convenience store. Before I can ask Jason why we're here, he asks, "What kind of ice cream do you want? I know most women like chocolate too, anything in particular you like? Or snacks? Are you low on your own period products? I think they might sell some here."

Before I can stop myself, I burst into tears. Again. He doesn’t question my reaction, just takes my hand in his and rubs the back of it, waiting me out. Just when I didn’t think I could love him anymore, the feeling grows a little deeper.

It takes a minute, but I calm down enough to make my ice cream and candy request. “Oh, and bacon, if they have some that looks ok, grab some.” He doesn’t even question it, just adds it to the list he started on his phone before heading in.

Twenty minutes later, we are back at my apartment.

"Lex, why don't you hop in the shower? I'll grab you some clean underwear and PJs and get started on the bacon." He gives my ass a light slap and sends me toward the bathroom while making a beeline for the kitchen himself.

I laugh when I step out of the steamy shower a while later. On the counter is my largest pair of grannie panties and my unicorn onesie. This man knows me.

After a snack of bacon and rocky road ice cream, we're snuggled into bed, just holding each other.

“Hey, can I ask you something?”

"Go for it, Doc. You know you can ask me anything."

“If you could do anything besides being an actor, what would you be?”

Chapter 26

Jason

Ican't stop myself from tensing up when she asks. Even though I knew she would eventually want to ask me these kinds of questions, I'm not ready.

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