Page 58 of Mister Mom

“Okay, buddy, let’s get you into bed.” I throw the covers open.

Payne stands by his books, his finger running along the spines. “Why can’t we read the shark book?”

I inwardly cringe. We’ve been reading that same book for the past month. I’m not sure I can handle another reading, especially when I’m strung tighter than a piano wire.

“I’m bored with that book,” I say. “Maybe we can go to the store tomorrow.” I try to inject some excitement into my voice, hoping to sell him on the idea. “Just grab another book, sweetie.” I pat his bed and widen my eyes.

“No.” His fingers run along the spines of his books again and my head falls back in frustration.

“Come on, baby, let’s read something else tonight and we’ll go to the book store and see if we can find a different shark book tomorrow.” I pat the bed again and he turns around, his lips turned down.

Mommy guilt rears its ugly head, but it’s competing pretty hard with my needs right now. Thankfully, Payne cuts me a break.

“Promise?” he asks, sliding under the covers.

Thank you, I say internally to the heavens above.

“Yes, I promise. Now, get all comfy.” My foot is tapping with impatience and I’m clenching my fists. I just want to get back downstairs.

I lean against the headboard with him and start reading. When we reach the second page, he places his hand down on the open book. “Mommy, too fast.”

I smile down at him and nod. “Okay, I’ll slow down.”

I keep a good pace for a while, but it still feels like it’s taking forever.

Come on, Moon, just say good night, for fuck’s sake.

A century later, I finish and close the book.

“Mommy, why does the bunny say good night to everything?” Payne asks.

“Because that’s what the book is about.” I stand from the bed and tuck the covers under his chin.

“Maybe I should say good night to everything, too.”

I kiss the top of his head and slide down the bed. “We can discuss that tomorrow.”

“At Leo’s store, they have puppies. Can we buy one?”

My hand pauses on the light switch. “We’ll talk about it tomorrow morning, okay? Love you, Payne. Sweet dreams.”

I turn off the light.

“Mommy?”

I release a breath and pause before I shut the door. “Yeah?”

“I really like Vance. Can he sleep over one night?”

I want to giggle but I stop myself. “We’ll see. Good night.”

I shut the door, thankful he doesn’t stop me again.

Before I head back downstairs I make a quick stop in my bathroom to fluff my hair, apply a quick layer of face powder and brush my teeth. I blink my eyes to open them wider.

I am not tired. I am not tired. I do not want to go to bed.

Well, not alone anyway.

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